April 11, 2014
I'm pretty good at it. (As are many others). If I had actually written my novel with no distractions or no procrastinating from the beginning, I would have been done it sooner. I think it's strange that I can procrastinate from something I love. Why would I do that to myself?
In the case of the looming Query Letter (that I will be writing tonight, and perfecting tomorrow), C pointed out on Wednesday that I was procrastinating and could have had it written by now. He also told me the reason I DON'T have it done is because I'm scared of the rejection. He's pretty astute for a dude that doesn't read my blog.
As I've said before, I've not taken a lot of risks with my writing. I write, and then that's it. I want to share it, but I've never sent anything in other than one short story when I was a teenager.
He's 100 percent correct. I haven't written it because I am scared to send it out. He told me I have nothing to worry about because it is good. He thinks so, and pointed out other have told me they enjoyed it. I still get worried that people are nicer than they need to be about it. Self doubt is some days crippling. It has been for me these past few days.
The only way to get over my fear is to stop procrastinating and do it. This may be one of the most important and bravest (in my head) things I've done in my life. I'm sure it will get easier as well, but just looking at my blank 'query letter' page scares the hell out of me.
I'm also a bit stressed about the upcoming months. C and I need to find a new place to live, and we have a bit of a time limit. I'm trying not to stress out about it, but I stress out about the smallest things, so I'm finding it impossible to keep 'calm and collected.'
I have one goal this weekend, and that's to write my letter, pick the best 20 pages, make sure it's all perfect, and hopefully send it on Monday or Tuesday.
Then I will wait.
What will I procrastinate about next? Writing my next novel, packing, saving... I can really procrastinate from anything. I'm good at it. Sometimes it's as easy an explanation, like, I'm lazy, but this time it's different -it's fear.
I figure if I, yet again, share publicly that I want to get it done by the weekend, I basically have to do it. Thanks goodness for social media.
So, again, goal this weekend? Get over my fears, stop procrastinating, and write the best letter ever.
Also go bowling on Sunday and beat C.
This picture is NOT the actual Query Letter because I'm at work and it is at home. Although, they look pretty similar. (But without the dots).
And as always:
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