As I did yesterday, I'm going to do the blog challenge last, but first, I need to talk - about myself. (Shocking, no?)
I have been feeling completely off my game lately (whatever 'my game' is). More stressed out than usual and feeling more panicked about things.
This isn't a new thing, but it isn't something I've had to deal with in the last couple of years. I've been enjoying it all, and trying to live and be happy with who I am and where I am in life.
Lately, I've been feeling on edge, and finding it hard to breath. I don't know if that makes sense. I can breath (just to reassure you), I'm just feeling a little like sometimes I'm having a panic attack.
And I don't know why. This has been going on since before the drama in my neighbourhood. Drama story Here
I thought maybe writing about it would help. It also feels worse today than usual (I think), so I need to figure out how to fix it now.
I like being optimistic on this blog (for the most part), and I almost don't want to share this because this post is NOT optimistic. It's about something that I feel is a weakness. (Even if I don't quite know what the weakness is or where it is coming from.)
Basically, I've been a little more down lately than I'd like. Sad and stressed. Not a good place to be.
What can I do to fix this?
For starters, I can breathe. That may sound silly, but it helps. Just to take a few seconds when I'm most stressed and focus on my breathing. Nice, deep, calming breaths.
I can write. I've been putting it off, and I think it is because I'm dreading (and impatient) about what will happen with my first novel. I'm ready for them to say no, but not really at all. I try to blame my waiting for the stress I've been feeling, but shouldn't that be exciting? The wait shouldn't stress me out. Either way, I can write. I'm not talking blog writing because that's basically the only thing I do consistently. I mean work on my new novel, work on editing (AGAIN) my first novel. I need to actually work on my fiction so it will be ready to send away when I need to again. Writing is my de-stresser. It always has been. I just forget sometimes.
Last, I can continue finding great things in my days to be happy and grateful for. Because my gratitude blog has helped change my life for the better, and even if I'm feeling ungrateful, I should continue to remind myself of all that is good in my life.
There are so many other things I'm sure I could do. I can talk to C, and my family. I am pretty sure I already do, but keeping silent never helps.
I guess I'll figure out the rest as it comes. Maybe, I'm just having a bad week, and I needed to get it out. Hopefully this time next week, things will be great and I will appreciate all that I have.
I guess I need to find out what is causing me to feel like this. It has to be something, right?
And now for the blog prompt:
Must See Fall TV Show
No idea. I actually just hooked up TV at the start of summer, so I'm behind on EVERY single show I watch. I'd say Parenthood, but I really have to catch up on last season first.
I don't watch a lot of television. I watch too much Netflix though. I actually wanted to add that to my 'fix it' list above, but I knew this prompt was coming. I think watching LESS Netflix will do wonders for me. I start watching shows (sometimes terrible shows - I'll save my 90210 rant for later), and I can't stop. They slowly take over my life when I could be writing or doing ANYTHING else.
Less TV means more time to read and write and focus on me. Never a bad thing to do.
But as I said - Parenthood and I'm also adding the Mindy Project - because it's hilarious. That's it though. I won't allow myself to watch anything else.
And as always:
August Blog Challenge explanation: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html
©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.