August Blog Challenge Why I'm stressed (and Clothes)

August 7

Quick update on the stress/sad situation From Yesterday - Here, and then I'll get to the question.

C is coming back today, and it's shocking how light my heart is feeling with that knowledge. I am a bit embarrassed that the way I've been feeling is directly related to him being gone. It feels like it is a lack of my own independence, but it isn't. I can be independent with him by my side. I just have to get used to him not always being by my side, and continue the independence.

I also do think I'm stressed out because I'm waiting for the response to my novel query. As much as I don't want to admit it - it's a big thing. The 'yes' or 'no' are going to be a little life changing. I'm no longer able to put that out of my mind and focus on other things. It's the first thing I think about most days. "Is this the day?"

I don't know why I didn't have this clarity yesterday, but it's what I feel is the cause. Either way - breathing is still the answer. So is writing.

And now to the blog prompt of the day:

What are you wearing?

My Work attire:
I forgot to take a picture of it on...

A nice shirt:

A summer skirt:

Jewellery:

Shoes:

And to go out tonight with C:

And as always:
August Blog Challenge explanation:  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

Or Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/

August Blog Challenge - My Stress levels (and TV)

Aug 6

As I did yesterday, I'm going to do the blog challenge last, but first, I need to talk - about myself. (Shocking, no?)

I have been feeling completely off my game lately (whatever 'my game' is). More stressed out than usual and feeling more panicked about things.

This isn't a new thing, but it isn't something I've had to deal with in the last couple of years. I've been enjoying it all, and trying to live and be happy with who I am and where I am in life.

Lately, I've been feeling on edge, and finding it hard to breath. I don't know if that makes sense. I can breath (just to reassure you), I'm just feeling a little like sometimes I'm having a panic attack.

And I don't know why. This has been going on since before the drama in my neighbourhood. Drama story Here

I thought maybe writing about it would help. It also feels worse today than usual (I think), so I need to figure out how to fix it now.

I like being optimistic on this blog (for the most part), and I almost don't want to share this because this post is NOT optimistic. It's about something that I feel is a weakness. (Even if I don't quite know what the weakness is or where it is coming from.)

Basically, I've been a little more down lately than I'd like. Sad and stressed. Not a good place to be.

What can I do to fix this?

For starters, I can breathe. That may sound silly, but it helps. Just to take a few seconds when I'm most stressed and focus on my breathing. Nice, deep, calming breaths.

I can write. I've been putting it off, and I think it is because I'm dreading (and impatient) about what will happen with my first novel. I'm ready for them to say no, but not really at all. I try to blame my waiting for the stress I've been feeling, but shouldn't that be exciting? The wait shouldn't stress me out. Either way, I can write. I'm not talking blog writing because that's basically the only thing I do consistently. I mean work on my new novel, work on editing (AGAIN) my first novel. I need to actually work on my fiction so it will be ready to send away when I need to again. Writing is my de-stresser. It always has been. I just forget sometimes.

Last, I can continue finding great things in my days to be happy and grateful for. Because my gratitude blog has helped change my life for the better, and even if I'm feeling ungrateful, I should continue to remind myself of all that is good in my life.

There are so many other things I'm sure I could do. I can talk to C, and my family. I am pretty sure I already do, but keeping silent never helps.

I guess I'll figure out the rest as it comes. Maybe, I'm just having a bad week, and I needed to get it out. Hopefully this time next week, things will be great and I will appreciate all that I have.

I guess I need to find out what is causing me to feel like this. It has to be something, right?


And now for the blog prompt:


Must See Fall TV Show

No idea. I actually just hooked up TV at the start of summer, so I'm behind on EVERY single show I watch. I'd say Parenthood, but I really have to catch up on last season first.

I don't watch a lot of television.  I watch too much Netflix though. I actually wanted to add that to my 'fix it' list above, but I knew this prompt was coming. I think watching LESS Netflix will do wonders for me. I start watching shows (sometimes terrible shows - I'll save my 90210 rant for later), and I can't stop. They slowly take over my life when I could be writing or doing ANYTHING else.

Less TV means more time to read and write and focus on me. Never a bad thing to do.

But as I said - Parenthood and I'm also adding the Mindy Project - because it's hilarious. That's it though. I won't allow myself to watch anything else.

Talk tomorrow.

And as always:
August Blog Challenge explanation:  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

Or Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/

August Blog Challenge and the woman who got arrested

Aug 5, 2014

I don't want to write two blog posts in one day, so I'm doing two in one. I will do that throughout the blog challenge because it is easiest, and so far (other than the first question), they aren't really in depth questions. 

Before I get to the August Blog Challenge, I want to talk about my night yesterday. It has nothing to do with this story about another night: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/what-i-didnt-do.html However, it kind of does. That night I heard a woman yelling outside, a street away. I was scared, but didn't do anything even though I should have. I was comforted because C was there - even though he didn't wake up.

THIS TIME was different. It actually had nothing to do with the last time that I know of, other than my neighbourhood doesn't seem as safe as I thought. 

I was hanging out in my room watching Netflix, and basically hoping my fan would be able to de-melt me. I heard yelling again. Screaming, actually. I paused my show, and heard her continue to yell. Again, I was wondering if I should call the cops - although she wasn't asking for help, just yelling. As I walked towards the kitchen, I saw lights flashing. It was obvious, that I did not need to call the police. They were here. Outside my house.

I peaked out my blinds, and saw one, tiny woman being handcuffed by two cops. She was screaming and yelling at them. I heard her say something about a guy getting away. Of course, that didn't make me feel better. Who else was running around, and what did they do? 

I watched as the policemen put her into the car. They both looked around behind them (as though looking for the person who got away) while she screamed her head off inside the car. She continued screaming as they got into the car. To be honest, I think I'd have wanted to quit my job right there if I had to be in the vehicle with the screaming woman. 


I have no idea what she was being arrested for or who the other person was. I don't think it was the first time she'd been arrested.

Until these last few weeks, I felt completely safe where we live. We are on the 'good' side of town. I love how close we are to all my favourite areas. Now, I'm not so sure about it. I've always considered myself pretty brave in this city. I haven't been scared about what is lurking around the corner - although, I'm sure I should have been at times. 

Lately though, I've been more on edge than I'm used to. Possibly I've been spoiled with C around all those months. Now that he's gone more, I'm more worried. It isn't me to be scared, and I'm not a fan of it. I don't like being scared and nervous about what's around me. I want to be able to walk home and feel completely safe. That feeling is gone.

Even last night, after they drove away, after I was ready for bed and tried to go to sleep, I couldn't sleep. Every time I heard a sound, I jumped. I had a terrible sleep, and was exhausted this morning. I tried to go to sleep with sound in the background (a Netflix movie) to distract me. It didn't work. 

I'm hoping things will get better. I don't like this feeling. I hope I can figure out what's making me so full of stress and fear lately.  (other than the obvious: crazy screaming girls).

And now for the blog challenge question:

What's For Dinner?

I have to be honest. I never really know whether dinner is lunch or supper. I think my family used to call 'dinner' lunch, but we also call supper 'dinner'. 

So: I'll talk about both dinners.

I don't usually do this, but my 'lunch' 'dinner' was this:

 I had a custom made ice cream sandwich. Caramel Apple and macadamia nut cookies. I had no room for my actual lunch after that.

So for dinner, I had a salad (loaded with everything). And one beer. With a flavoured ice cube.

No ice cream tomorrow.


It's also been four months since I sent my query in. 

And as always:
August Blog Challenge explanation:  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

Or Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/

August Blog Challenge - Read of the week

August 4, 2014

Favourite Read of the Week

The week has only just begun, unfortunately. I assume this means favourite blog post read because I don't read a book in a week.

I DID just finish this one last week though. Everybody should read it. Stay tuned for my book blog review. I haven't done it yet though.

As for blogs, I spend a lot of time on Blogher during my week at work. (I work as well). Today, I was looking at the different posts, and came across this one:

http://themommyhoodproject.com/baby-loss-i-can-write-about-it-i-cant-really-talk-about-it-le-sigh/

Full disclosure, I haven't read her story, so I don't yet know about her loss. This was a post that caught my eye. Now that I've started at this one, I'll go back and read her story. 

I liked the writing, and I don't know what her loss is, and, of course, I don't understand how ANYBODY feels about their own loss, but I do know about my own loss, and I know how much blogging and sharing it with people helped. I read what she wrote, and I knew what she meant about getting it out through blogging her feelings. 

I went to a counsellor for a couple of sessions after my miscarriage. I didn't love it. I hated it, actually. Finally, I blogged about my experience, and it helped. A lot. 

I also went to a different one (in a different city) when Cam died. This time, it helped, but not as much as blogging did. There are some things that I'm still not ever going to write about in my blog, but it has been the easiest way to talk about my grief. I don't talk or write about it much anymore. I know if I ever need to - I can. So that's my read of the week. Now - I'm going to go read her entire story. I'll probably be sharing about this blog again. I love reading about brave people who share their stories. I just have to prepare myself for this one. I know it'll hit me hard.

One more though. I read blogs about life, and also about writing. Here is one that I read today about Characterization. http://thewritepractice.com/the-strongest-form-of-characterization/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+TheWritePractice+%28The+Write+Practice%29

That's it. Keep in mind, if I had this question on Friday instead of Monday the answer may have been different. 

Till tomorrow.

And as always:
August Blog Challenge explanation:  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

Or Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/

August Blog Challenge Day 3 - Music

Aug 3

Playlist of the Week

I don't have a playlist of the week. However, it sounds like a great idea!

Lately, I've been listening to music on my phone. There isn't a lot. I had an app that transferred my last downloaded (purchased) music from iTunes to my Nexus 4. It wasn't all of my music, so I don't have a lot to choose from when I listen to it. I also don't use my Ipod as much as I used to. It has all the favourites, but I never update it. I also listen to Jango on my laptop and Songza on my phone.

So some examples of my Playlist.

When I'm listening to my Google Play Music app:
Dan Griffin: 'Stars and Satellites' (I'm not going to name all the songs, but this one appeared on my playlist, and I'm not sure how. I'm very glad it did though!)

The Black Keys
Darius Rucker

Eric Church

Emerson Drive
MacKenzie Porter 'I Wish I'd Known' (cause I love it)
Shovels and Rope 'Hail Hail' (Also, appeared on my playlist, or was a free download, but I really like it.)

Red Hot Chili Peppers

Zac Brown Band

Jason Aldean

A lot of these are bands I wanted to get before concerts so I was well prepped. I only listen to the radio when I'm driving, and unfortunately I do a lot less driving now that I walk to work. So I don't hear a lot of the new music.

I enjoy Jango because I can type in any artist and listen to them as well as similar artists. For instance, today I decided to listen to Eminem. Other days, I choose favourite artists from the 90s.

Last, on Songza, I basically always choose the 90s mix. Because I am a 90s music girl. I can admit it.

Just one example!

I like music. Usually doesn't matter the genre. There is a lot of country in this. I go through stages with it. I work at a country station (two out of three of the stations I work with), so I'm around it quite a lot. Until tomorrow.

And as always:
August Blog Challenge explanation:  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

Or Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/

August Blog Challenge Day 2: Favourite Rainy Day Movie

Aug 2

Favourite Rainy Day Movie
Oh gosh, all the old favourites! 

Pretty Woman. Even though every time I watch it, I really feel like they are romanticising prostitution. I didn't realise it when I was young.

Dirty Dancing. Because I love it.

I should mention though, that I also have stand by rainy day shows.

Gilmore Girls. My very favourite!

Friends: Cause I know I'll get a laugh. (This scene made me cry though).

Sex and the City. I love the friendships. Every time I hear those words, "What if I had never met you?" -it makes me so grateful for my own best friends! I loved the show. Sorry - the first part was great, the second part includes the C word... I don't get offended easily, but if anybody else is bothered, the warning came after the clip... oops.

I'm sure I have more shows and movies, but those are the main ones.

Until tomorrow.

And as always:
August Blog Challenge explanation:  http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

Or Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/

Day One August Blog Challenge

Aug 1 
 New Years Resolution Follow up 
I did 2014 Writing Goals, as well as New Year's Resolutions. I've copied them here, and will follow up after the goal. The 'resolutions' are in italics. 

·         Short Term Goals for 2014

o    Write everyday I blog everyday. Still working at writing every day.

o    Edit the first novel I've edited it about four times, so I did do this. However, it could probably use about three more edits. 

o    Write a second novel I've started thinking about it, and started, but haven't done as much as I'd like.

o    Look into publishing, and submit work Success! Just waiting for my first response. 

o    Start blogging again Success! Definitely the writing I do most.

o    Write short stories again No. I haven't really done any short story writing. I guess I'll have to work on it.

o    Learn something new every day I assume I meant about writing. I'm sure I do. I'm constantly looking at blogs, twitter posts, and pinterest about writing ideas and advice.

o    Try different genres of writing I'm not there yet. Hopefully before the year is over.

That's it for the writing specific goals. I also had a post for 2014 Resolutions.

My Post for New Year's Resolutions is here: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/01/2014-goals.html I've kind of also copied and pasted, and I'll give my update on how I'm doing.

• I'm going to read more. I have TONS of books, and I should use them for more than making a Christmas Tree.  However, I think I'll leave the stack of the books up, and start from the top. If I've already read it (there are a few of those), and I don't want to read it again, I will give it away. 

I took the 'book tree' down because we moved. I still have a lot of books to read, and I still buy too many. I'm reading, but slowly. 

• I'm going to try to pay more attention to spelling and grammar in all my writing.

I think I do pay a bit more attention, and I try to edit more. I learned a lot more about grammar while editing my book and getting others to read it. I have a lot to learn. Always.

• I'm going to start writing letters to myself again. That may sound strange, but I wrote myself letter from nine years old until 19 to open on the day I turned 20. I did the same thing from 20-29. Unfortunately, I wrote a lot less. Here I am, 33, and I haven't written any letters to my future self. My forty year old self is going to be upset! So I'll be doing some catching up with myself. I should also find the old ones. Not sure where they are. I know I still have them though.

I haven't really done this. I wrote one letter for my blog. http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/03/march-9th-letter-to-40-year-old-me.html I guess I still have a lot more updating to do for 40 year old me. One letter a year is probably sufficient though.

• I'm going to do more journal writing. I say this every year, and I'm really good at writing on the bad days. I need to work on gratitude writing as well as worries, doubts and sadness. Basically, I can write anything I want in my journal. I'm not restricted. I miss journal writing.

I write every once in a while. To be honest, with the amount of blogging I do, I usually just end up repeating myself. I'm pretty honest in my blog. Also I have the gratitude blog, so that doesn't need to be a focus in my journal. It's sad, but my journal just doesn't get the love it used to. I write about things that will NEVER go in my blog. That's not a lot though. 

• I'm going to try my hardest to do something with my book. I'm good at procrastinating. I'm good at not trying as hard as I should. I'm not very good at quitting, but I'm good at leaving it or ignoring it. I can't do that with my book. I have to try. I guess if I can't find a publisher, I can self publish. That will be a last resort though.

It's hard to continue to try my hardest because I can't do anything while waiting. I did take steps to get something done with it. We'll see what happens. I was proud of myself (but it seems so long ago.)

• I'll start a new novel.

I've started it. I haven't got much farther than that.

• I will blog.

I DID blog. And DO blog. Done!

• Last, I found a pin that has photo or writing prompts for months. I'm going to start with February, and see how I go from there. Once again, that will be posted on here. 

I've basically done this. I even make time for my own personal entries. Lately, I haven't done a schedule like the February or August prompts, but it's a nice break.

And as always: This is the explanation of the challenges: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/07/august-blog-challenge.html

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

Or Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/