Saturday 18 February 2017

Nine Months

Feb 17, 2017

I think I already mentioned that I'm going to be doing guest posts on a Mommy Connections website. I just did my first one! Feel free to check it out: Mommy Connections Blog Post. It's about the choice to have only one baby.

Now for this post.

Today is Anthony's nine month birthday (anniversary?) My plan wasn't for my blog to be all about my kid or a 'Mom' blog. However, it's basically my life now. I'm just getting back into writing, and I'll be able to blog about that soon, but for now, it's just as easy to post about my life, and that includes my sweet nine month old.

Nine months is kind of a big one. It means he's been outside for as long as he was growing inside me. 

Around a year ago today, Anthony was still growing inside me. I was about six months pregnant.
Today, he is a wonderful, healthy baby growing on the outside.
The nine months of pregnancy were scary and crazy. The last trimester was tough. Growing a baby on the inside is nothing compared to nine months of my wonderful Anthony.

During pregnancy, Anthony was growing and becoming a human. Other than the tummy growth, I didn't see it. 

Now, I've been so lucky to be able to watch him grow and change in front of my eyes. 

I think it was a lot easier to keep him safe while he was growing inside me. My little nine month old is full of adventure, and ready to take leaps any chance he gets. Even if the leaps include bumping his head.He's brave, and he's stubborn, and he NEVER gives up.  As far as I know, he didn't bump his head a lot while he was in the womb. (That being said, his head was stuck for a a little too long.)

The thing with this nine month milestone of Anthony's is that it's also my milestone. It's Clint's as well.

We've been parents for nine months. I've been a momma for nine months. (I know, I was a mom while he was growing inside of me, but it wasn't exactly the same.)

Life has changed a ridiculous amount. For instance, I'm home blogging on a Saturday night, hoping that Anthony stays asleep long enough for me to finish the post. Last year about this time, we were going to Rush games, and getting to every concert we could. Going out for supper after 5pm, and enjoying life without a mini attachment. 

I still stayed home to blog, write, or read before he came along, it was just completely different. 

Instead of getting out at night, I make sure to get out during the day between naps.

I'm more exhausted than ever, I stress more about making the correct decision, and I worry about what's going to happen. 

I wouldn't have it any other way. Having something as important as Anthony to stress about is a great thing. He has changed my life in so many wonderful ways.

I smile more. I laugh more. I feel lighter. I always feel lighter now (other than the almost 20 pound mini-me I carry around with me). The weight of the world lifted a bit when I got comfortable being a mom. 

I was concerned that depression would be an issue because it's something I've dealt with, but for some reason it hasn't. I'll admit, I've had really rough days. I've cried a lot. Happy tears and sad tears.

It's been hard, but it's been great. I think having a little guy looking up to me makes me fight harder. He keeps me going, and even when all I want to do is sneak under the covers and close my eyes.

I did the gratitude thing pretty well before Anthony, but now I'm throwing in optimist to the mix. It's a bit harder, but I want Anthony to grow up thinking he can do anything, and he can make the world a better place. I want him to trust that things will get better. I want me to trust that as well.

He's also helped me come out of my shell a little. I've met more people because of him. I have friends, but I didn't really expand my network of friends since moving to Saskatoon (other than work friends.) Now I get out and I meet other Moms, and it has been nice to be able to talk or vent about things that are going on in my life, knowing they won't judge me because they're in the same place.

Just quickly, anybody in Saskatoon, here are some awesome things you can do with your baby, and meet awesome people. 

Fitbump (an exercise class for prenatal, mom and baby, and more.) 

Mommy Connections
Mommy Connections

Mommy Connections (classes weekly with other Moms to learn about Mom life. They also have a Mom and Baby active - you get to try out all the active things in Saskatoon for Mom and Baby. Also fun side events for mom and kids, or just moms.) 

Kickboxing (so much fun!)
okamimartialarts (Mom and Baby Kickboxing.) 

There are many more, but those are a few of my favourites.

We are also doing swimming lessons
with Definitely worth it to get the babes started early.

Bit of a disjointed post today. That's what we've been doing this past winter, but we are slowing things down a little bit in February and March.

My brain is slowly shutting down for the night, so I'm going to wind this down.

Long story short, today, I celebrate being a mom for nine months. Clint celebrates being a dad for nine months, and Anthony celebrates being in our world for nine months. 

Time is moving way too fast.

Here are a couple more photos from our day.

He's helping Momma vacuum.

Wine bottling with Mom and Dad.

One last thing, it's National Wine Drinking Day! So Cheers all!

I'll try to be more on task next post. I feel like this one was a bit all over the place. It's been an eventful nine months.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

Wednesday 8 February 2017

Strong Like Mommy

February 7, 2017

We were lucky enough to get a lot of boy clothes before and after Anthony was born. We got tons of great used clothes as well as new clothes from friends and family. 

As I was going through them, I found more than one onesie or shirt that said, "Strong Like Daddy" or "Tough Like Daddy".

I thought they were cute. There are others for Mommas (I DIG MOMMY) as well, but this one made me think. Why weren't there any "Tough like Mom" shirts?

To be honest, this was a quick thought that went through my head as I was washing all the clothes, and getting his closet ready, but I didn't spend a lot of time thinking about it.

Lately, my mind has been on it again. I know his daddy is strong. I know a lot of Daddys are strong. 

So are Moms. We don't always seem to get the credit for being strong. It's just understood that we take care of babies. We're the ones who nurture. 

He's got a "Mom is my anchor" onesie. (The photo is below). And it's super adorable. I feel proud when he wears it. Even though I'm the one who chooses his outfit. 

Being an anchor for somebody is strength. 

I googled Strong Like Mommy baby clothes. They do have them, but not in the way I wanted. 

There were a few with the saying and a photo representing muscles or working out. I do exercise, but not enough to make me want my son to wear that. I won't win in a fight.

There were others that had the saying with a breast cancer ribbon. Women who fight any kind of cancer are stronger than I could even imagine, but that's also not me. 

I was looking at boy clothing, but they did have ones for little girls that said, "Strong Like Daddy, Pretty Like Mommy." It's great that the makers of the onesies are promoting a strong little girl, but pretty like mommy? Really?

It really bothered me that I couldn't find what I wanted.

We carry our babies for nine freaking months. We hold it all together, and take care of ourselves and the growing baby inside us. That is strength.

We give birth to the baby. Whether this be a vaginal birth or c-section (planned or emergency), whether you have an epidural or not, it's one of the scariest things somebody can do. That is strength. It was hands down the scariest thing I've done (and nine months in, you can't back out.)

Taking care of your baby is strength. Sleepless nights. Fears that you are doing EVERYTHING wrong, but continuing on anyway. Postpartum Anxiety or Depression. Breastfeeding or not. It all takes strength. 

I am so proud of myself for the role I've taken. Sometimes I'm proud of myself for the simplest things. I changed a diaper without my child jumping off the change table. I got him dressed. I made it through the day even though I have only thought of sleep since waking up. I fed him. I bathed him without him climbing over the sides. (He doesn't stop moving).

Being a mom takes strength. 

I get my strength from different places. I get it from my partner. He's working away from home, but still has all the confidence in the world that I'm doing a great job. I get it from my baby. One smile from him in the morning gives me strength. Family. Friends. You name it. Support is wonderful.

I also get strength from myself. I know I'm strong (unless we're physically fighting, as I said, then I would lose). I know a lot of Moms who are stronger than they know. 

It's a really hard job. A job that is full of laughter, tears, fear, love, and strength. 

To be clear, I am in no way saying men aren't strong. I know they are. I'm happy Anthony can wear his shirt about being strong like Dad. 

Also to be clear, I think woman who aren't Moms are also strong. Life takes strength no matter where you are in it.

I simply think that maybe we should tell each other more often how great we're doing. How strong we are. In my case, I've got my baby to do it for me:

I had this shirt made by Kreations by Sunshine. I told her what I wanted, and she made the shirt for us. I want the world to know that my son is strong just like his mommy. He's going to be brave, strong, and tough like Daddy and Mommy. 

I want him to know how strong he is. I'm sure this will be easier because boys seem to be told that from the start, but I want him to be strong in every possible way because it's not always just about lifting weights. He will be strength.

If any Mommas are reading this, you made a kid. Congratulations, you're strong as hell.

Okay. Rant over. 

And before I go, this is the other onesie I was talking about. Super cute. Not made specifically for us though. And completely unrelated, I remember when I saw this, and didn't think he'd EVER fit into it. Now I'd like to slow it down.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

Sunday 5 February 2017

Notes from Years Past

February 4, 2017

Before I get to writing my post, a little news: I am going to be working on guest posts for a local Mommy Blog. I'm pretty excited about it. (Although, I've been meaning to post for a month, so I'm going to have to work hard at writing.) Here's the link to the bios for the guest bloggers: Mommy Connections Blog

Next, I have wanted to write this week, but my wonderful little eight month old has hit some sort of sleep regression. The Great and Powerful Google has agreed that he's not sleeping well with reasons that make a lot of sense - over stimulated from this great world, and major problems with being separated from his Momma.

He does sleep through the night, but he doesn't go to bed early anymore. I'm on my own for two weeks at a time. My partner works away from home for two weeks, and he is home for one week. My sweet baby has decided he can't sleep without me. So he's up until midnight in my arms because he cries and cries in his crib. I put him to bed when he's finally asleep. Lately, I'll put him to bed earlier when he's asleep, and he'll wake up and cry (and cry and cry). 

I know people use cry it out, and I do let him cry, but not only is it not my style, but it doesn't work for the amount of time I'm willing to give it.  I'll figure it out, but for now, my 'Me' time, is disrupted. It makes for an exhausted Momma, and also means I don't get that extra hour or two at night to read or write. It's been a tough week because it's just me and the babe. I'm his person, and I wouldn't want it any other way, but it has been a week full of tears. Mine and his.

Long story short, it's kept me from writing, and I've wanted to write.

The actual post:

I am always looking at the "On This Day" on Facebook. I post a lot on Facebook, so there's always something there, and I'm happy to see what I was up to. I like the memories that pop up.

Even the bad ones remind me of how far I've come.

Eight years ago, I participated in the note thing about 25 Random Things. I like to talk about myself so of course I did it.

I just tried to search for a photo of me eight years ago. Found one. 

And now: All my photos include a kid. 

This was also around the time I had a miscarriage. It was hard getting through it. Not because it was my great loss. I've seen what others go through, and my experience wasn't the same or as terrible, and I've experienced heart breaking losses. I don't think the miscarriage was.

The miscarriage was a confusing time for me. It was the first time I really felt that life had kicked me. I didn't understand why it happened. I got pregnant by accident. I was excited after getting over the shock. It all ended.

Now that I've given a little information about where I was at that point in my life, I've copied and pasted the note.

I guess I should also talk about why I'm sharing this because all Blog Posts should have a point. It's also good if they have to do with writing, but as we know, mine don't always.

I'm sharing it because that whole experience was why I started blogging. I had done a travel blog, but this was my life, it was real and it was hard. Although I wrote the note because it was a thing to do, it was also a way to get my feelings out into the world, if only to my small friends list. I didn't write about the miscarriage in the note because not everybody knew. It was before I realised it should be talked about.

Writing always helps, even if you are sorting out your feelings in a note that 50 other people had done in a day.

I'm going to comment after the facts (in italics) about my thoughts now compared to then. 

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you.

If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you!

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1 I've been tagged a couple of times, and can't resist these things (that counts as a random fact!) And believe me I don't expect you guys to do this unless you want, just tagging those who might be interested. I'm also not tagging 25 people because thinking of 25 names of people just isn't on my list of things to do today.

The thought of tagging 25 people still seems daunting.

2 Although 2009 has only really lasted one month -it's been the toughest year I've ever had. Things can only get better. And will.

I can say with all honesty that the year continued to be tough. All of it. 2009 was not a good year for me or my family.

3 I don't like feet. I especially don't like when feet touch me for no reason other than to be mean.

I like my babies feet now. 

4 Bananas are the only food that I can't stand. I'll eat anything else. (I think).

Bananas are gross.
5 I believe you can find out about somebody's personality just by whether they like mushrooms or not. (I like them.)

Nah. I don't think that theory still holds true.
6 I'm an English major with bad grammar. 

Yep. Although I try to learn as much as I can.
7 I love to write, and am sad that I don't anymore. Life gets in the way. I plan to start again. (I already have).

I think I have more of a miniature reason for not writing as much as I'd like, but that's not an excuse. Just have to keep doing it. Writing,editing, and reading - it's always my goal to do more.
8 I miss travelling for many reasons. There is so much to see in the world, and it scares me that I may not get to. I also love the way it gets you away from real life. I could use a vacation.

I still miss travelling, but life is an adventure whether you're travelling or not. 

And yes. I could use a vacation.
9 I love my job, and I love the company that I work for. I have never before said that about a job -and I've had A LOT of jobs throughout the years.

Funny, that also came up yesterday in my On This Day. I quit almost a year to the day of posting this. The people were great. They were family to me for a time. Now I don't talk to them as much as I'd like. 
10 I have a great support system, and I sometimes feel bad for not taking people up on offers to talk whenever I need to. It would be good for me.

I still have a kick ass support system. I probably still don't ask for help as much as I should.
11 Being closer to home sometimes would help, but I survive, and even in this new place, have people who will help.

I'm pretty close to home now.
12 I love change. Being stuck in a routine scares the crap out of me.

Still does. 
13 Writing 25 random things about myself is tough.

Commenting on 25 random facts feels tough as well. (I'm going to bed as soon as I publish.)
14 I am highly emotional, and am pretty good at crying in front of people even though I HATE to do it. I'd rather people see me as strong and brave. That being said, I'm not good at getting my feelings out for that very reason.

Oh boy. I still cry in front of people, and still hate it. My job made me cry more times than I'd like to admit. My bosses saw me cry more times than I'd like to admit. I cry when I'm angry or upset or sad or hurt. 
15 I have never really had to deal with death except for pets. So far -not very good at it.

This statement is no longer true. That year, I lost two grandparents, and it kept on coming for five years after that. Sadly, I'm better at it.
16 Secretly (not so secretly since it's being posted on facebook) love that my cat only likes me. And gets a little jealous when he's nice to other people. 

That cat is now living with my sister, and now that wonderful and moody cat only loves her.
17 Could use a good cry at this very moment, and wonder if tears ever dry up.

I'm good.
18 I love to laugh. Not that random of a fact but true

Whoa. Random. I still love to laugh.
19 Never thought I'd say this, but I can't wait to have a child. (obviously, I will wait)

I waited eight years to have a baby. At times, I didn't think I'd have one. It was worth the wait, and he came when I was ready.
20 Love my past, and thinking about everything that got me to where I am.

True enough. I've done great things and I've met great people.
21 I am pretty excited for the future. -tomorrow, next month, next year -all of it.

22 I loves how trusting I am, but will admit it has probably gotten me into trouble.

I'm not sure where that random thought came from. I still trust.
23 Does not want to be a perfect little house wife -but really loves cooking.

I can't possibly be the perfect little house wife. I don't clean my house.
24 I miss my friends and family and hope I never stop.

True enough.
25 Is pretty happy that this is the last random thought. Harder than I thought. In fact, read quick because it may be deleted tomorrow.

I'm exhausted.

There you have it. Changes from eight years to today. I was in a lot of confusing pain back then. Things got worse before they got better. I like who I've become, and those years help. In eight years, I hope I say the same thing because I'll continue to change. I also learned to write about real things back then. Face my challenges through writing. It's a pretty important thing to learn.

Until next time. (Tomorrow??)

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated: