Monday 30 June 2014

I'm back!

Monday, June 30

However, I'm not sure when I'll do a big post next. I'm hoping to work on it tonight, and post by tomorrow.

I arrived home around 8:30 yesterday, and after catching up with C, headed to sleep so I would be able to work in the morning.

Tomorrow is Canada Day, so hopefully I'll be able to get a great blog post about my trip. Lots of pictures to come.

Until tomorrow!


Friday 20 June 2014


June 20, 2014

I leave for Newfoundland at 8:50 tonight. Actually, we leave for Calgary (going backwards), and then catch a flight from Calgary to Newfoundland. We'll arrive in Newfoundland at 8 am (Newfoundland time).

Then we'll rent a car, have breakfast, and explore St John's until we are exhausted! (more exhausted).

This will be  my last post. Probably my last post until July, but we'll see how I feel on the 30th. I am sticking to the decision to not bring my laptop. It will be a journal writing and book reading trip (you know, when I'm not actually being a busy tourist).

This means I have to get all the topics I've been thinking about now.

The last trip with just my family was when I was 12 or 13. We went to LA. (Other than camping).

It'll be interesting. Luckily, I think my family, is pretty much the best, so all should go smooth.

I consider Newfoundland to be my first exciting and memorable trip in my adult life. Or... and experience that brought me closer to adulthood. Because let's face it, at 17, I was no adult. Just moving onto a new journey.

The reason I am so excited to go to Newfoundland with my family is because of all my wonderful memories of the beautiful province.

For a while in my life, I compared the beauty to Newfoundland, to all the new places I went. I wasn't the only one. I can STILL remember my friend, Katie and I in Taiwan. I had met Katie in Newfoundland (in Katimavik), and years later, we travelled to both Thailand and Taiwan together. We were on an Island called Green Island. This place was beautiful! At one point, we both agreed that it compared to Newfoundland. I thought that was interesting because I didn't realise others felt that way about the beauty in Newfoundland. The waves, the mountains, the ocean, the towns. All wonderful.

I don't even need to wonder if it's going to be better or worse this time. I don't believe I have made it better than it was, in my head. I think the trip itself will be completely different, but it will be pretty great to see the place I fell in love with at 17. (16 years ago). I really can't wait.

There will be pictures when I return.

I have really gotten used to hanging out with Clint every day. I enjoy coming home to him. I know when he goes back to work, I'll have to get used to the distance, but I've been extremely lucky to be able to hang out with him this long. I'm going to miss him this week. A lot. He will be just a text and a phone call away, but I'll still miss him.

So, in my obvious, and always, I love Clint mood, here are some things that have struck me as awesome lately. In no particular order: 

  • Tells me I'm beautiful every day. (Without fail or prompts).
  • Tells me he loves me every day. (As do I to him).
  • Supports my decisions. (Any decision).
  • Encourages me. (He knows I can do things that I don't know I can do).
  • Tells me I'm smart even when I'm doubting it. (There is kind of a story to this one, because let me be clear: I don't think I'm stupid. Sometimes though, I'll say something like, "I don't think I'm smart enough for this movie." Usually a science fiction movie. I don't actually think I'm dumb, but I don't always 'get' what I watch. He gets frustrated when I say that because he knows I am smart. It's nice to hear it, and have somebody else know it.)
  • Makes sound effects when he plays games because he knows I love it. And I do it myself. (He was just doing this the other night, and it made me laugh because he's right. I do it ALL the time!)
  • He's damn cute. (Obviously)
I love my job, but I am looking forward to a week break. Sometimes it's the coming back to a job that make you realise you love it. I've been frustrated more than I need to be, and hope to come back with more appreciation for it.

Love them. I actually, have nothing to say on this topic, it just feels like I should mention that I have GREAT ones.

I think that's it for today.

I will be back at the end of June. Happy next week!

And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Wednesday 18 June 2014

Things to do before My next Birthday

25 things to do before your next birthday.

This one is tough because my birthday is only three months away. Obviously it can't be crazy things like 'write a book' (another one) or 'travel to a different country'. (Not, that it's crazy, but I don't have the money or the holiday days). I'll make a list. Some of it will be obvious. Maybe most of it.

  1. Laugh a lot
  2. Camp with C this summer. (2013 Camping at Candle.)
  3. Go to Newfoundland with my family (IN TWO DAYS)
  4. See whales and icebergs while in Newfoundland.
  5. Celebrate my parent's 40th Anniversary. (GO TEAM McCREA
  6. Take photos everyday.
  7. Write in some way everyday. 
  8. Blog
  9. Figure out if my book will be published, and what happens next. Unpublished novel.
  10. Get to my goal weight (and buy a scale)
  11. Stop my negative thinking (towards myself and other people).
  12. Read more
  13. Finish the Game of Thrones series (I kind of took a break on the third book). 
  14. Go to the Fringe, Taste of Saskatchewan, and any other great festival around. Getting my fortune told at the fringe.
  15. Plan our next Ontario trip (in October, the month after my birthday). Picture was our last Ontario trip, in October 2013.
  16. Go to both Shakespeare on the Saskatchewan plays
  17. Eat from Food trucks
  18. Catch a fish. (In Saskatchewan, not Mexico like the picture.) 
  19. Spend time in the sun
  20. Snuggle with C 
  21. Spend time with my family. 
  22. Spend time with my friends.
  23. Write letters to friends who live far away. And two my future self. 
  24. Organize my spare room. (throw things out). It's a bit better than this. We have the books out finally!
  25. Keep attempting to get up and exercise every morning. (Even when C isn't nagging me to get out of bed when he's at work).

That was pretty easy actually. Goals make me feel like I've got control of my life!

Until next time.

And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Tuesday 17 June 2014

Flash Fiction

June 17, 2014

I'm supposed to write a flash fiction post. I haven't yet, and I might save it for later. In the meantime, I have researched the hell out of it. If I choose to do one in the future, I'll be sure to share. I haven't been as creative as I'd like to lately.

I'm kind of half in vacation mode lately. As well as feeling slightly ill today. I haven't felt up to anything. Including finishing packing. 

I'm going to leave it at that. Hopefully do a bigger prompt post tomorrow. And actually do it.

Sorry for the lack of writing. I'll have my writing journal with me in Newfoundland, so I'll try a few flash fiction posts on the trip.

Write a post of flash fiction.
This didn't help.
I like this one.
Quick explanation, kind of like Flash Fiction!

And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Monday 16 June 2014

Writing Goals

June 16
First of all, I'm going to have one thing on my mind this week: my upcoming trip to Newfoundland. SO I apologize now for half hearted posts. It will not be my intention. I will also be taking a week break from the 21st to the 29th. I won't be posting during my trip. IN FACT, I am going to leave my beautiful purple laptop at home, and only using my phone when necessary. With that being said, on to today's post.

What are your writing goals for the next year?

All my writing goals will be starting in July. I won't have a lot of time to blog or edit or write before then. I make no apologies. I'm going to take these next two weeks, and not feel guilty because I haven't been writing. It's been a busy couple of months, and I'm going to enjoy getting back at writing, but not stress about the fact that I've been slow to do it.

So here's a time line for the rest of this year. (I'm not doing a full year because I ... Because I don't want to. I want to focus on the immediate future of this year only.)

Novel Writing Goals:

The Summer:
I want to edit, edit, edit, AND edit again. I won't be looking at the new book until I've gone over my first one a few more times. If it doesn't get accepted by the current publishing company, I want to make it more perfect for the next one. My summer (when not outside enjoying the sunshine, and enjoying summer trips and festivals) will be spend editing. Beautiful Purple Laptop will be getting a lot of exercise.

The Fall and Winter:
I will start working on my next novel. I'll write, and then I'll write some more. I'll do as much as I possibly can.

Summer, Fall and Winter: All blogs will continue at the start of July. I'll continue my goal of writing as much as I can. The new and more realistic goal is 3-4 times a week per blog. It shouldn't be hard to reach.

Short Stories:

I'm going to try my hand at some short stories again. It's been a while, but I think it would help my writing. Fiction and non-fiction. I can also try getting these short stories published. Magazines and online contests may be a good idea to help out my writing and my writing resume/portfolio.

And that's the plan for this year. Wish me luck.

And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Friday 13 June 2014


    June 13
    I'm doing two prompts in one again. They don't need a separate post. Happy Friday!
Share some resources that help you when you’re writing.

I never realised how valuable Twitter was until I started writing my novel seriously, and blogging seriously. I've soon learned that I can find almost anything I need through Twitter. Including asking advice if I need to. I have a full group of people I don't know, but who are writers that I can ask questions and learn from. It's amazing actually. Through Twitter, I found a query letter writing work shop. Helped me so much! And encouragement from others is great as well.

Pinterest has also helped me a little bit. If I follow what other writers are 'pinning' I can usually find a blog that will help me with writing tools and writing advice. Although, it's also really good for quotes. This helps my blog.

Of course, I would be lost if I didn't have Google. I can ask any question I'd like and pick and choose my answer. I can research things for my novel, I can find out proper ways to say things, I can ask grammar questions (BELIEVE ME, I HAVE THEM). I can find almost any information I need.

Can't forget this one: The Library. I used it a lot when I first started my novel.  Before I got lazy. I'll be back. Just have to pay my fines.

Last, friends and family. I ask my friends when I know it's a topic they can help me with. I ask advice about writing, about professions that are in my novel and personal situations that are relevant to my story. 
Name the five biggest distractions from your writing.

  1. Social Media: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, E-mail
  2. Books: If I'm having trouble writing, I let books distract me.
  3. Texting//phone calls/My Nexus 4: Talking to friends, Words with Friends, and Candy Crush. All available until I shut off my phone. I've done that.
  4. Netflix: I can always find something to watch on Netflix. BUT I actually sometimes like the noise in the background. I CAN'T write in silence. I know a lot of people are the opposite.
  5. C: Although, truthfully, I USE him as a distraction, but he does not ever purposely distract me. He'll ignore me if it makes me write more. Bribe me with later attention and wine. Still... sometimes, I am distracted by him.

And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Thursday 12 June 2014

Writing career changed in the past year?

June 12
How has your writing career changed in the past year?

First of all, although I proudly call myself a writer, I am not sure that I have a 'writing career'.

I did some Merriam Webster app research.

I would say I do consider myself to be a writer. It doesn't say published, so I'm good. Career would work, but it still says job. My job is not a writer. (Although, my official job title is 'Creative Writer' which kind of changes everything I'm saying. I don't consider myself to be a 'writer' at work even though my title says I am.) As for the definition of job, I'm not making money at it yet, but maybe I will, and it is something that requires a great effort.

So long story short... sure. My writing career. How has it changed? It's changed a lot. I finished a book. I hope next year at this time, I can say the same thing: that it's changed. I hope my official writing career has started by then because I still don't feel like it has.

But here are the changes throughout the year.

I wrote everywhere I could.

 I started taking it more seriously and REALLY wrote as much as I could. October 13th, 2013, I made it to 100 pages. November 17th, I made it to 200 pages.

I was already planning my 'author' photo. Though, don't think this will be the winner.

December 16, 2013. Finished my first novel.

New writing tool for Christmas. Love my purple laptop.

Jan 28, 2014. Working on titles.

Picking publisher options.

From February until April, I edited a lot and had a lot of drafts.

Even at work.

I also blogged. I enjoy blogging and hope it will get my name out there in case my novel is published.

I gave myself a party on March 29th.
'Erin Wrote a Book party'.

I learned that you can NEVER edit enough.

I became a fearless writer, and sent my Query letter away to a publisher. Fearless.

I went to a Writing Retreat in May, 2014. It was lovely, and nice to share my writing.

How has my writing career changed? This year, I learned how to write and not quit. I got over my fear of sending it off, and actually sat down and wrote a novel, knowing that it may not be published. I've learned more about editing (again and again), and I'm really learning about patience right now. I'm learning about things not being in my control. Writing the novel was the easy part (I had no idea). Now I can't do anything but continue my own edits and wait.

I've changed a lot as a writer. I know that I can do it. I know that procrastination (while fun) is a horrible thing. As a non important learning fact: I also know I'm much better at writing in the winter than the summer, unless I'm outside with a beer.  

While the career hasn't quite started, I've learned a lot about myself as a writer this year. The blog has helped tremendously.

I can fully admit that I am still scared to hear my first 'no'. I almost expect it, but that won't stop me from feeling heart broken. I know I wrote a good book, I just am not sure if it'll get published. That's the truth. While I've grown as a writer, I haven't overcome my fear of failing yet.

Still. I tried. That counts, right?

And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Tuesday 10 June 2014

Who inspires (nags) me to write?

June 10

What (or who) inspires you to write the most?

The answer to this question is a fine line between nagging and inspiring. And by nagging, OF COURSE I mean encouraging.

That's what I'm taking for this question anyway. I mean, I've spoken about other writers that inspire me, plus I've spoken about the inspirations for my characters, and I'm taking this question to mean who supports me through my writing. Encouragement is inspiration in this case.

If we're not talking encouraging inspiration, the answer is me. The stories in my brain inspire me to write. I can take credit for that. I will take credit for that.

Getting it onto paper though - that takes encouragement and support. I have LOTS of that.

I've had tons of encouragement and support since writing the novel. People who helped edit, people who were my test readers, friends and family who haven't read it, but have more confidence that I'll get published than I do myself.

There are two people who have been encouraging me from the start.

Actually, Nehal has been encouraging me since before the novel. It feels like she's been encouraging me since the day she met me. I used to do a little blog while I was living in Korea about funny things that happened or about my life in general. I didn't take it seriously, and I'm pretty sure I ALWAYS forgot to check for mistakes, but I did it to keep friends and family in my life loop. Even then, when it was the only writing I did, she kept reminding me that what I was blogging would make excellent short stories.

Nehal has now been in my last three writing prompt questions posts. Obviously I pick great friends!

She sends me links for writing, she encourages my writing, and she REMINDS me that I should be writing.

In fact, before she met Clint, I'm pretty sure that's what sold her on him. The fact that he nagged me to write.

Which brings me to my next writing inspirer.

C. Plain and simple, he constantly asked me how my writing was going, if I had written, and how many pages.

I had started writing my novel before I met him, and probably didn't tell him right away. (I didn't really tell anybody until I was about 100 pages in). He found out before that, obviously. I just mean, I didn't share this information on our first date. I don't remember when we spoke about it. The second he knew about it, he was asking how I was doing. I remember when he was back in Ontario, and I would tell him about my day. His response would sometimes be, "But, did you do any writing?" I've never had that before.

He was also the first person to read it. He asked to read it before I had a lot done, and it was honestly, one of the scariest things I've done. I can send it to Nehal, no problem. She gives great feedback, and usually has positive responses. Sending it to C was harder. I know he's honest (not that Nehal isn't -he's just more blunt), and I know this wasn't his type of writing. It was nerve wracking, and I was pretty happy when I got a positive response from him.

I've never really had a boyfriend read and take seriously my writings - especially fiction. In fact, the first one (from A LONG TIME AGO) would read my short stories and have nothing but negative comments and changes. I always kind of thought, it wasn't so much trying to help as trying to influence and pretend to be helping. I might be wrong. 

However, the rare time C suggested a change, I did trust what he was saying, because he had my best interest in mind, and didn't often try to change anything. He also loves to read which makes me incredibly happy.

Those two are my inspirations to keep me writing.

If you've learned ANYTHING from this post, it's that nagging works. (or bribes).

Also: wine inspires me to write, but that's part of the bribes.


And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Monday 9 June 2014

Writing Update Monday

May 9

Today is the two month anniversary of me sending away my Query Letter and 20 pages of my manuscript.

I know... I know. This picture has been used already. I don't really have any other update picture. I could show a picture each week of me tapping my fingers impatiently, but to be honest, I only think about it every so often.

Tapping my finger

I'm only impatient when it's on my mind, and luckily, my mind is full of other stuff to keep my busy.

Now that I've moved, I've run out of excuses. I have to edit and write more.

And I will.

Short writing update, but there it is. I've been waiting two months, and need to get back at it. I have a trip coming up to Newfoundland at the end of the month so this may turn into a summer goal. I like writing in summer anyway so maybe I will be more inspired by the time I return from one of the most beautiful places in Canada.

And as always:

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Friday 6 June 2014

Inspiration for my Characters

June 6, 2014
Where do you find inspiration for your characters?

First, once again, here is a description of the characters with no mention of inspiration. I'm not going to speak about all of the characters. Just my favourites. (I play favourites). Plus, some characters just 'became', they weren't inspired by anybody but my brain and the people in the story.


My friend JUST asked me that, kind of. He's reading my novel right now (the unpublished emailed version).  His comments (so far) are below. I like to save proof that people have read my novel (and found it interesting).

The character he was asking about, Lucy, is the main character. I didn't base her on anybody, or really have anybody who inspired me to write her. Because it was my first novel, and I am still getting used to writing my characters, the main character took on a lot of my characteristics. I'm sure she reacted to some things the same as I would have.

The Grandma is partially inspired by my Grandma Burton. Strong, loving, tough, and family was her first priority. The Grandma in the book ended up taking on her own personality, quite different from my own Grandma's.

The younger sister, Kristy, was actually my favourite to write, and she was inspired by the fact that I wanted to write about a smart young female. We see too many young woman portrayed as stupid, ditzy, or mean girls. I wanted to change that. I didn't really use anyone as inspiration, BUT for her book smarts, I did imagine Rory Gilmore a little bit, not in all of her personality or looks, just the striving for perfection in school.

My friend, James, was correct. The character of James was not him. In fact, I know this sounds silly because James (friend) and I speak frequently through email, but James (character) was such a real character to me that I didn't even realise they shared a name. I was inspired by my own perfect boyfriend when I wrote him. Although, they are quite different in many ways.

Last, the best friend, Shauntell. My inspirations were my friends. She's little pieces of many of them. Denise, Karen, Nehal... Every once in a while, she'll say a line that reminds me of one of those three woman.  Once again, the world has enough mean girls. I wanted somebody who was there for her friend, but also honest with her.

The other characters all had inspirations, but these are the ones I wanted to focus on in this post.

And as always:

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Thursday 5 June 2014

My Writing Space

June 5, 2014

I'm doing two prompts in one again because I find them pretty similar, and I don't think it needs to different posts.

  • Describe (in words or photos) your writing space. What do you like? What would you change?
I've just moved so I'm still working on my writing space. It was pretty easy in the other place. Either the bed or the old couch. 

Here are some options for me.
Sitting on the couch with C across from me.

Someday when we're unpacked and organised, I may use the desk! Although I sit at a desk all day, so probably not.

The big comfy chair. Just need a safer place to put my wine glass. This will probably be one of the winners though.

Writing on my bed. Nice to write in the early mornings with a cup of coffee.

  • Describe your ideal writing space.
On a patio

Outside in the sun

    With this guy next to me.
    In a coffee shop

    And as always:

    ©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Wednesday 4 June 2014

Inspiring Writers

June 4

Talk about three other writers who inspire you.

First of all, there are many. I'm narrowing down my writers right now to the ones I know personally, and I'm not focusing just on authors, but writers of all types of writings. I also really think it's important to write about people I know. I rave about writers/authors who are strangers all the time.

This gives me a chance to show off about my writing friends. This post is going to take longer than I want to finish because I want to find the right words about each of these woman. The one thing all three of them have in common is they are incredibly intelligent and wonderful people. I hope I can do them justice in this.

Nehal El-Hadi

Not only has she been my biggest supporter through all my years of both writing and not writing (encouraging me to write always), but she's a great writer as well. She's also somebody I'm lucky enough to consider one of my best friends.

Nehal and I once wrote a children's story (meant to be a series) about a bullied purple mosquito named Amos. (Bullied by other insects; not humans). The only other time I've written a children's story was something small I tried for her daughter about a purple wall. (Purple seems like a theme). I don't consider myself good at writing stories for kids, and Nehal and her family are the only ones who will read the ones I do write.

I've seen stories she's written for kids and adults, and work that she's posted online. I loved them. Her writing is engaging, and it's wonderful. She writes in all different forms (fiction, non fiction, ect). She's a wife, a mom of two beautiful babies, and is a PhD candidate, a journalist, a writer, and so much more. She writes about what she knows, what she's experienced, what she's learning, and I love learning that extra bit that I didn't know about her before reading her work.

I'm constantly learning from her, and although I wish we didn't live in separate provinces, I consider myself lucky to have met her. Talking to her inspires me (even if only through What'sApp).

I feel selfish because we've spent too much time talking about my writing, and not enough time about her writing. I think I've possibly just assumed that she knows how wonderful she is, and I am more needy in my writing life? I'm hoping that's changing (my part of it). I need to learn more about the giving part of life and writing, and she's somebody I can learn from.

One other things about Nehal and I: we are EXCELLENT singers. We once made a great plan to stand on a street corner and sing until people paid us to quit.     

Ashleigh Mattern

I met Ashleigh three years ago when I started my job. She worked as a Creative Writer for a year before she left to become a full time freelance writer. It was a brave move for her, but as far as I can tell, what she's always wanted to do. I don't think it was without a few kinks, but she's now comfortably freelancing, and works as a journalist, copywriter, and copy editing.

She is also writing a novel. I will be one of her 'test' readers when she finishes her next draft. She was one of the organisers of the writing retreat I went on so I heard a little bit of what she had been writing. It sounded really good, and I am really looking forward to reading it. I can't wait!

She read my novel (the very first draft) for me, and gave me so much great advice. She was really helpful and encouraging!

She is inspiring in the way she goes for what she wants. She has started her career in writing, and continued it for a while now. It's something I'm not brave enough to do. She's also constantly learning about what she writes about, and constantly trying new things.

I love talking about writing with her, and I can't wait to read her novel. 

Anastasia Kozak 

I asked everybody for permission before I started this, and I haven't heard back from her yet. When I hear back, I will give her name and her website (if the answer is yes). Update: I have got the okay!

I haven't read a lot of A's work. I've read things she has written through her website. I know she loves to write though, and is in school with a focus on writing - also working on a Phd.

We met in 1998 (16 years ago) when we travelled around Canada in Katimavik. During that time, I saw her rebellious streak, her individuality, her kind heart, and her great spunk. 

I remember when we decided to make sure we reminded each other how beautiful the other was in the morning. We helped one another with self esteem, I guess. It's a funny memory to have, and I can't remember how it came about.

We wrote to each other after Katimavik and I loved her letters. They were inspirational, honest, fearless and her writing was beautiful and wonderful. That's actually why I was thinking about her as a writer. While packing, I found a letter she had sent me, and it made me miss her. I'm going to write her a letter this weekend (she lives in Florida), and maybe we can start our correspondence again. It's so much nicer than Facebook and email.

I can't wait until I read more of her work, and I hope I get to soon. She's had quite a life, and her experiences have probably helped shape her writing. 

She's always supportive even from far away, and although we don't speak often, I still remember her as a vibrant woman who wrote and drew in her journal throughout our travels. It's really exciting that she is also perusing a dream in writing. It feels like we have both done a lot of growing up since we met.

I seriously, am so grateful that I have so many inspirations in my life, and that I know writers (with lots of talent) that I can also call my friends. 

And as always:

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.