Friday 30 May 2014

Society, and What People Expect

May 30

I have a lot to say, and I have NO idea how to get it all in here, or how to say it clearly because this is a subject I don't actually touch on a lot. I will be using screenshots as well.

First of all, I think men and women are different. I think some reasons are nature, some are nurture, and society has helped with the rest.

That doesn't mean I am not a feminist.  I think many people are feminists in one way or another, but it's hard to admit to because of the stigma. There is stigma. You clearly just have to search this horrible hashtag for proof of that:

In case you can't see it, the hashtag is #idontneedfeminism.

Just so we are clear, this is what they don't need.

I've been looking at the hashtags for this:
#yesallwomen has been trending since the shootings on May 23rd in Isla Vista, California. The shooter had released videos as well as a 138 page manifesto about his war on women. I'm not going into details because I haven't watched the videos (nor will I), and while what he did, ended up starting the conversations on Twitter, they have progressed into completely different topics. He was troubled, as I'm sure most murderous psychopaths who go on shooting sprees turn out to be.

Okay. So, I'm done with the topic of the murders. He killed both men and woman, and he's in the media enough.

It did remind me of the Montreal Massacres, December 6th, 1989. I was only 9 when it happened, and now 25 years later, it feels like maybe things haven't change much. I'm adding a link about the two events.

This is all I'm going to say on the above situation. It's not what this particular post is about, but I guess it is what spurred it on for me.

I have A LOT of opinions on women, the way women treat one another, and the way men treat women. I don't always voice them, but I have them. What better place to say it, then in here.

First of all, I'm so sick of the way women treat each other. I mean, if we want respect from men, it might be a good idea to start giving it back to one another. I'm starting to hate the television shows with the high school girls who refer to one another as 'bitch', 'slut', or some derogatory term for their appearance. This seems to be taught at a younger and younger age.

And I HATE HATE HATE the word slut. I think judging people for the way they live their life, and the way they dress is horrible. (That being said, I KNOW I've been guilty of the same judgy things, and I'm slowly trying to resolve that in myself). I tend not to insult people, and I would feel pretty horrible if I made somebody feel bad about their appearance or themselves.

Which brings me to the way women dress, and the fact that it really doesn't matter what you're wearing if you are assaulted. I think the men that rape, aren't picking their victims because of what they're wearing. And the self righteous women and men who are putting the blame on the victim, maybe need to take a step back. I know a lot of people don't like the word 'victim', but it is accurate:

My novel storyline has to do with a rape, but it isn't from the point of view of the victim. I touch on a few of these points in the novel within the conversations between characters.

Either way, the name calling and the blaming need to stop, and it seems like after ALL these years of this happening (to both men and women), it hasn't really gotten better, if anything it's gotten more acceptable. That's pretty scary. I do like the 'teach your boys not to rape' thought process, but I think that also goes with teaching boys AND girls to respect one another.

All this being said, I have never been raped or sexually assaulted. I don't have first hand experience, these are all just things that I've been feeling lately.

My last subject in this long post about everything, is a touch lighter than the topic of rape and name calling, but this one is more the society/feminism side of things.

I'm going to start it with a short story about something C and I recently discussed. I had bought some mascara for a very low price (cheap mascara), and it clumped every time I put it on. C finally asked who I bothered putting it on at all, and assured me I was just as beautiful with no makeup on instead of putting the unnatural mascara on.

I've actually stopped wearing mascara since he said that. Not because of him, as much as the whole thing makes sense. I don't want to waste my morning putting on mascara. I've been wearing it since I was 14 or 15. I still put on the foundation so I can TRY to cover up the circles under my eyes, and I still usually put on eye shadow... because it's fun. That's about as far as I've gone lately.

Men (some men) don't wear makeup. That's an obvious statement. But why? Are they naturally better looking than the women who cake on the makeup? It's just another difference between men and women? I never really thought of it until I was looking at the #yesallwomen feed.

This made sense to me. I'd never thought about it before. I sometimes feel more 'girly' when I've got makeup on, and have convinced myself it makes me look better. How ridiculous is that notion? I don't look good until I put on makeup? No! That's silly. IF I ever have kids, and IF I have a little girl, I don't want her to see me struggling with bad self confidence and the need to be the perfect weight and have the perfect face. I want her to see me loving myself for who I am. It's tough to get into that mindset. Although looking back, I think my mom was perfectly confident in herself.

All this being said, I still like to have shaved legs and armpits. I, personally, quite enjoy the silky feeling of my shaved legs, and will continue on with the society's opinion on me shaving them. So that might go against everything I've just said, but I don't care. I'm a feminine feminist (at times).

I apologise that this post is ALL over the place, and it doesn't really have one valid point. I just was feeling inspired by the great posts I'm seeing on Twitter.

And as always:

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

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