Toddler Truths and Mom Truths

And this week:

May 7

Momma's first Freakout/Meltdown

I don't have the photo of my actual meltdown, but it happened the moment I sat down in the car after a wonderful walk at the dog park. I felt something on my neck, reached back, and grabbed a tick crawling on my neck. I've been lucky enough to not deal with ticks for 37 years. Meltdown began. Full fledged freak out. Since getting home, I've checked myself, my kid, and my dog about 55 times. I'll check once more before I go to bed. I've been so good at going to the dog park, and now I'm going to have to convince myself it's a good idea again. We ALL need flea colours. 

Toddler's First Meltdown:

Truthfully, he was exhausted and needed a nap. In my head, he was upset about the tick.

May 8

This is not a photo of the exact meltdown, and it wasn't a TERRIBLE meltdown. Kiddo came running to me and jumped into my arms because his little friend stole his balloon (the balloon is actually hers because we were at their house.) Just a little more information though: Anthony is always taking toys from her, and he constantly tries to push her around, and sometimes hits. He's not always nice to her. Today though, he didn't push her around, and she stood her ground. She took toys from him when she wanted to, and she wouldn't give up the toys he wanted. It is nice to see her stand up for herself. Anthony needs practice sharing, and needs practice with somebody who won't let him be a bully. They also hugged before we left, and it was the cutest thing ever. He forgave her for the balloon thing, and she forgave him for his bad moments in the past. (Although probably not completely.)

May 9

He wanted something. And I don't know what. We couldn't go inside. We couldn't go to the front yard. He wanted me to do something with him, but he's the only one who knows what, and he was not happy that I didn't do the right thing.

Momma's Meltdown

I had a grumpy toddler, and a dog who wouldn't give me any space. So we took a car ride to the grocery store. I love my doggo and kiddo, but sometimes it's nice not to be touched for two minutes. Also, this photo was taken in my driveway. Before the car was moving. I don't take photos while driving. 

May 10

Stir crazy because it was raining.

May 11
Toddler Meltdown

I put him in the car.


Major Mommy Truth

Okay, so here's the thing, I love being a stay at home mom. I don't regret my decision at all. However, I went to visit the radio station I used to work at today, and I felt uncomfortable a little bit. I hadn't been there for a year. I'm not sure why it took me so long to visit. I love my coworkers. Today, I walked around and caught up with everybody, and I found myself constantly telling people how happy I was with my decision to stay home. And I am, but when asked what I keep myself busy with, I don't really have an answer. Just the obvious, I guess. I guess I wish I had a little more to tell people. I have my writing, but that's not new. I've always had my writing. I don't know. I just left feeling a little down. I don't want to be at that job, but I do miss making my own money. I have my writing, and it's mine, but it's not quite the career I want it to be. It's not a career yet. Maybe I'll get there someday. It was nice seeing everybody though. I miss my coworkers. 

May 12

He was mad because I wouldn't let him hit me. (This was all before 7am)

Tomorrow is Mother's Day. I may just do a post about being a Mom. No meltdowns allowed. We will see though. 

Happy Saturday! 

"Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

I occasionally do guest Mom posts for a local Mommy Connections blog. Check them out, and others here:
 http://www.mommyconnections.ca/saskatoon/category/mommy-connections-news/

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Another week or meltdowns AND laughter

May 6

First, a writing update. I've now written 326 days in a row. I'm interviewing the main character of my next novel, and learning so much about her. I found one that asks a question a day. Some answers are longer than others. It's very motivating to help her finish her story. 

Now for the meltdowns:

The week started off with some good ones. From me.

Sunday, April 29

Momma's first Meltdown

He would not stop asking for a bite of my Balance 365 Power Bowl breakfast. I knew he wouldn't like it because of all the delicious textures and grains. I said no. He asked again (in toddler speak). Finally, I gave in and gave him a bite, and he spit it all over himself and the couch. So we're clear, he had already eaten his breakfast in the kitchen, and I was just trying to finish my breakfast anywhere I could. What followed was a Momma Sized meltdown. (Also picture a dog, just waiting for you to trip and spill your meal so he can also have some.)

Toddler Meltdown

This was a fun one. And I'm assuming an ongoing one. He slides his cars under the couch, and them moves to the side so we can move it and get his cars. Might I add, he one hundred percent does it on purpose. When I say no, we're not moving the couch right now, the meltdown begins.

Monday, April 30

It was a good morning. We met some friends at an indoor play area. None of the kids played, but I caught up with my mom friends. This was about 11. He was mad because I wouldn't go up to the slide with him. Actually, he walks me to the stairs, tells me to sit down, and waves goodbye to me as he climbs up. I can also watch him from the chair. It was close to nap time.

Tuesday, May 1

Grandma tried to dress him. This is after the meltdown.

I'm going to be honest, from May 2nd on, I kind of slacked on recording meltdowns. It was not a bad week though. I've had a wonderful time with my kiddo. We had bad moments, but the nice weather has us in fantastic moods.

Saturday May 7

The bedtime routine included a toothbrush in the toilet and a ripped up book. Can you guess which one of us melted down? Hint: It wasn't him.

Sunday, May 6 (today)

He was angry because after dumping out his buckets of water, I wouldn't get him more (for a third time.) And YES my child needs a haircut. It's on our list.

And now, I'd like to share photos of our good moments. Because meltdowns are great for funny stories (terrible in the moment), but also, the good moments are even better.

Sunday, April 29

Anthony is starting to pick his own clothes, and it's adorable and hilarious. (And vehicle themed). Note the backwards pants so he can see the dump truck.

Monday, April 30

Sidewalk chalk. Enough said.

Tuesday, May 1

Anthony acting like a dog at the dog park. He seems to be part dog.

Wednesday, May 2

I love how he can be completely covered in dirt, but come to me to tell me he has dirt on his hand and asks me to wipe it off. UGH I LOVE THIS KID!

Thursday, May 3

I've been working on these hand and foot print animals for SO long, and now I'm done. Almost. I still have to figure out what to do with them. 

Friday, May 4

The water table became a dirt table and it is a FANTASTIC idea. We still use water in smaller containers so he can move it around He gets the best of both worlds.

Saturday, May 5

Anthony went to his bff's second birthday party. (We say BFF, but they didn't spend any time together at the party.) Anthony was being a loner, and loved kicking the ball around.

Sunday, May 6

We spent almost the entire day outside. The afternoon was spent with his Auntie (my sister), and we loved every minute of it. Ice cream, water, boats, and Aunt Jo are all he needs. Auntie Jo is my favourite person, and his.

That's it. Hopefully we have some fun moments next.

Have a great week! 

"Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

I occasionally do guest Mom posts for a local Mommy Connections blog. Check them out, and others here:
 http://www.mommyconnections.ca/saskatoon/category/mommy-connections-news/

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

First Meltdown of the Days

Okay, I'm trying something new.

I'm hoping to once a week share what made my child first meltdown about during the day. I know there are already places you can find reasons why kids are crying, and they are hilarious. These are his very first meltdowns because I'm finding it interesting. I haven't always paid attention to what makes him upset, but as he gets closer and closer to the terrible twos, we are learning A LOT!

And I'm not talking a couple of tears. I'm talking about meltdowns.

So: here we go.

Sunday April 22nd:

He couldn't get my sandals to stay on his feet.

Monday April 23rd

I changed his diaper. (That's a rubber ball in the photo).

Tuesday April 24th

I put him down so I could get his milk and my coffee ready.

Wednesday April 25th 

This one took a little longer. (Yay!) We went for an early morning grocery shop. He got upset because he was in the grocery cart car that he ran to and got in as soon as we got into the store.

Still Wednesday: Mom's First Meltdown of the day:

Anthony put a tooth through his lip. There was a lot of blood. When I saw how much, I cried.

Thursday April 26th

Momma's First Meltdown

I won the meltdown game today. I was first. I had a cry fest as I got rid of clothes that don't fit him anymore. How dare he grow up!

(Still Thursday)

His momma walked out of the room while he was putting cars in a container. And he couldn't get the lid back on. He actually was really good today though, and any meltdowns ended quickly.

Friday April 27th

I don't mean to show off, but he had very few meltdowns today. He probably teared up a couple of times, and cried, but not long enough for it to be considered a meltdown. It was a REALLY good day. One of those days that makes me think, "This gig is pretty great! I'm an awesome Mom and I have an awesome kiddo!" I know thinking this will come back to bite me.

Saturday April 28th

Last one of the week. Yesterday, was in fact, a big tease. He had a meltdown when I wouldn't get off the toilet mid pee today. (HOW DARE I?) 

And that's a little look into my Writing Mom Life, but really just the toddler stuff. 

Happy Weekend!

"Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

I occasionally do guest Mom posts for a local Mommy Connections blog. Check them out, and others here:
 http://www.mommyconnections.ca/saskatoon/category/mommy-connections-news/

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

April Writing Update

April 22, 2018

It's not a good writing update. I had big plans for April. I was participating in Camp Nanowrimo, and I had a goal of 50,000 words. I was working on a novel I had started a long time ago. I was editing and making major changes at the same time. I was keeping on track for the first week and a half. I was exactly on target, and it felt pretty great.

And then. I got sick. So damn sick.

I continued to write everyday, but I didn't have the energy for novel writing. After I started to feel better, I still didn't have the energy. I've been trying to write, but I've also been trying to do other things at night. 

So long story short, I'll continue working on the novel because I can't give up on my character, but I don't have the time this month. I've left my poor main character for way too long, and I need to see where life takes her. I won't know until I write. I started writing it after I finished the first novel, and since going over the first so many times, there are definitely some changes to this character's story (she's in the first.) I've learned a lot about her, and I need to do her story justice. I started writing this so long ago that it's a little embarrassing to admit how long I've left her. 

I haven't yet sent the original novel to publishers yet, but it's going to happen soon. I had a couple others reading the novel for me, but I'm not sure that they're going to get back to me. I might have to continue on without them because I really need to start sending it away. I really want it to be published.

The first day I was sick, I basically stayed on the couch while Anthony covered me in toys. Then my mom came to help.

I am currently on day 314 of writing in a row, and I'm incredibly proud of that. Even when I'm not novel writing, I'm doing some sort of other writing. Prompts, journal, and happy thoughts. However, I'm being harder on myself this month because I had really high hopes. Solo motherhood while you're sick is tough. I can't do as much as I want.

And speaking of that, as a solo mom (for now), I'm hard enough on myself. If we take out the writing part of it, and the trying to be a writer while raising a stubborn son, I'm still harder on myself than I should be. It's been a tough month, and I feel guilty when I get frustrated, and I feel bad when I do things that others would call lazy parenting (letting my child watch digger videos on you-tube so I can get things done). I'm not a perfect mom, and even though I know I never will be a perfect mom, (nor do I need to), I'm super hard on myself for any bad moments in my life with my son.

So that plus the guilt for not writing as much as I'd like is enough. I've had enough. I'm going to celebrate the fact that my son is happy and alive. I'm going to celebrate the fact that I have somehow managed to write every day for 314 days. I've done amazing. And I'll continue to do the best I can. Actually, some days it probably won't be the best I can, but I'll keep trying to do the best.

That's it. I have a pile of clothes to put away, so I'm going to do that. It's been a while since I wrote a blog post. It was time.

And a few photos to show my son is sometimes happy even though I'm not perfect. 

And one of me in crazy mom mode. That's the best Super Mom mode. Ignore the mess in the background. I finally cleaned it today.

 

"Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

I occasionally do guest Mom posts for a local Mommy Connections blog. Check them out, and others here:
 http://www.mommyconnections.ca/saskatoon/category/mommy-connections-news/

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

I Can't Join Your Team

I am hesitant to write this post because I don't want to offend anybody. I don't want to offend friends who are part of the MLM teams. (For lack of a better word - or acronym, I'm going to call it MLM - Multi Level Marketing.)

I have friends in various MLMs and this post isn't about them. When asked, if I want to join, they have respected my choice to say no. In fact, most people do. That's not really what this is about.

Being a mom seems to be a signal that you should be asked. Being a Stay at Home Mom seems to mean you have a sign on your back saying you NEED to be asked to join a team.

Today, through Instagram messaging, I received TWO different requests for me to join a team. Two requests from strangers.

I've had other mothers through Instagram contact me, and make small talk, and then ask. I've been okay with this. Today, they just asked. Not a lot of small talk. 

I'm usually okay with this. I get it. It's what you do. And some of you, are very good at whatever you've chosen as your MLM. 

Today, it got to me. I always respond with a 'thanks, but no thanks.' I usually always give a reason even though I shouldn't have to. 

Today, I blocked both of the women who sent me requests. I'm not sorry about my decision. 

As I've said before, I post a lot about my writing life and about my mom life on Instagram. I don't think any of what I post says anything that should lead people to believe I'm the right type of person to approach. I just like to post.  I have been approached before, but not blocked them. These are people who comment on my photos, and I comment on theirs. They are strangers, but I feel we have a connection through motherhood. However, the connection almost ends there. I'm sure we have more in common, and believe me I also believe in health and fitness, but I don't want to join your team to do it. (I have Fitbump for that). 

Now to save time, here are the reasons I don't want to join your team:

• I don't want to. That should be all I need to say. I'll add more though.
• My focus is on writing. No, I'm not making any money at this yet, but I hope to. If I stop writing, I won't get to where I want to be with my writing. I want to get there. I don't want ANY other distractions.
• I WANT TO BE A WRITER NOT A SALESPERSON. And don't tell me it's not sales. You ask people to join your team. You try to sell it.
• I'm a terrible salesperson. Terrible. 
• I know that it's perfect for moms, but I spend a lot of my day chasing after a toddler. I don't want to add more to my day right now. I want to spend it doing things I love, and seeing people I love, and I don't think I'd love the MLM I join. I know I wouldn't, I think know it would stress me out.
• Last, but not least: I don't want to. I have no interest. None. Never have. Probably never will. 

I will listen to your pitches. I will think about purchasing your products, but I might not. I also might. That's up to me. It was your choice to sell, and it's my choice on where to spend the money I have. (Someday, I'll be a famous writer - or win the lottery - and I will have more money to spend, but for now, I don't. AND I KNOW I CAN MAKE MONEY BY JOINING YOUR MLM - SEE ABOVE.)

Okay, that's all. Like I said, some people can do it. Some people can join, and do a kick ass job at their new job. (I know these people.) But it's not for me. So you can ask, and I won't be offended because I get that's part of your job, but I won't say yes. For sure, I won't say yes. That's my choice. 

You have your passion. I have mine.

Writing. And my family.

"Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

I occasionally do guest Mom posts for a local Mommy Connections blog. Check them out, and others here:
 http://www.mommyconnections.ca/saskatoon/category/mommy-connections-news/

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Writer's Block? What's that?

March 23, 2018

Writer's Block Un-Blocker

I've been doing a Nanowrimo challenge on Instagram using the hashtag #instawrimo. Today's prompt was Writer's Block Un-blocker. Because it's meant for Instagram, usually I include a photo with a bit of a post about why I chose the photo, or how I feel about the prompt. 

I thought I'd use it as a blog post topic instead of picking a random prompt. (Or just rambling.)

Here is the photo I was going to post to Instagram for it. Posed tonight. Instead I'll just use a screen shot of this post. Excuse the pajamas. We had a snow day. I actually like the one of just my hand. That's not the one I was going to post though.

Basically, my solution for writer's block is to write. Every Day. In the past, writer's block would lead to months of not writing. I'll never let that happen again.

If I don't know what to write, I do a prompt from my prompt book. I always try to do a happy thought.

 

 I think because I have so many different places to write (I call it places, but method or ways to write would also work), it helps me keep myself from getting the dreaded writer's block. But ONLY if I write everyday.

Lately, I've been blogging (this blog, my book blog, and the Mommy Connections Mom blogs), I have been doing personal writing in my journal (which was needed), I've been doing the prompts, I've been editing, and I've been working on new novel ideas. I'm also working on a piece for something completely new. Details to come. And this doesn't count, but I do a lot of Instagram posts - they are photos, but also time for me to share my thoughts, happy moments, or frustrations. I share a lot, but because it feels good to write as I share my photos.  

I choose one or two of the above writings to do a night, and I write. Sometimes I write earlier, other nights I write later. I always write though, and it's the only thing that keeps me going with my writing. At this point, I'm scared to stop writing for even a day. I don't want to lose what I have going. It's also something that is for me. (And for anybody I choose to share it with.)

I've also been keeping track of how many days I write. I was doing it on Instagram, but that got pretty tedious. Now I write it down everyday, and I make note of what I've written. There isn't really any reason for this other than keeping myself accountable. Keeping myself accountable is key. (Day 284).

I've been trying to figure out what I did for writer's block in the past. How did I write? I don't know. I think I just wrote when I was inspired. I didn't realise that writing was my inspiration. If I had known that, I may have finished a novel much earlier. I spent too many years not writing. I'm so glad I rediscovered it. 

I hope I get published someday, but even if I don't, I know I'm doing everything I can, and I'm writing. No matter what. I don't really feel as though I get writer's block anymore because I've always got some form of writing to do. If I need a break from my novel, I have lots of other things to fall back on. If I can't think of a blog post idea, I go to Pinterest and find a prompt. I'm always writing so I haven't given myself a chance to get writer's block. I don't plan to either.

That's it. Short post today. It's actually not easy to write about a problem I don't have. Luckily. I guess if I find myself with writer's block, I'll solve it with a blog post.

Happy Friday everyone. (I remember when I used to do things on Friday nights. Now I do the same thing I do every night. I get my son to sleep, I write, I Netflix, I have a glass of wine, I try to read a little, and I sleep.)

"Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

I occasionally do guest Mom posts for a local Mommy Connections blog. Check them out, and others here:
 http://www.mommyconnections.ca/saskatoon/category/mommy-connections-news/

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

10 Things

March 16, 2018

I haven't been very good at blogging lately. I'm not sure why. I haven't felt the need to post, but I have been writing. I'm still writing every day. Today is day 277 of writing in a row. I've not taken a break, and I'm pretty proud of myself. One of my goals was to post once a week on a blog. I haven't done that, but have posted on the book blog and a Mommy Connections blog. Not once a week though.

I think to get back at it, I'm going to do some prompts. It'll get me back to writing honestly. I'm picking and choosing one for each post, and am hoping to write once a week, but we'll see. I'm not picking them from any particular list of prompts, but just choosing what inspires me in the moment.

Today, I'm listing ten things that make me happy

1) I'm happy I've started to learn how to ask for help. The truth is I can't always handle everything myself, and if I don't learn how to ask for help, I'll probably lose my mind.

2) I'm happy to be writing consistently. Big writings or small writings, I'm keeping at it. I love it.

3) I'm happy that I can do the solo Mom thing. I'd rather be doing it with my partner, but he is working hard for us away from home, and I'm working hard at home. As much as some days I hate it, I love the great days. The feeling of being super mom isn't all bad.

4) To follow the last one up, I'm happy to have a partner who works incredibly hard for us. He hates being away from home, and we hate it too, but we know he's working to make things better, and we love seeing him on video chats.

5) I'm happy I've rediscovered the small things that help keep me happy. Crafts and scrapbooking are the major small things that come to mind. 

6) I'm happy I know how to be happy. I can see the crap moments for what they are, and acknowledge them, but I know that being happy is what gets me through it.

7) I'm happy for my family. My sister has been a LIFE SAVER these last few months. She gives me a break when I need one, but more than that, she's somebody who will come over and hang out with both my son and I. She's an adult person who I love to talk to. 

My mom comes in from out of town to give me breaks I need as well. They know I hate asking for help, but can sometimes sense my high anxiety levels, and know when I need relief. 

8) I'm happy for my friends. I may not see some of them as much as I'd like, but they listen, and they understand, and they're my friends. I'm also happy for the lifelong friends Anthony will have because of my friends.

9) I am happy for my dog. He's a big pain in the butt, but the most loving pain in the butt you've ever met.

10) I'm so happy that I get to spend my days watching my son learn new things. He's a little dare devil, and constantly keeps me on my toes. I wouldn't have it any other way. He makes me laugh all the time. (He also frustrates the hell out of me, but that's a different post.)

11) (One more for the hell of it.) I'm happy for the invention of both coffee and wine.

That's it. Hopefully I'll be back next week.

Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

I occasionally do guest Mom posts for a local Mommy Connections blog. Check them out, and others here:
 http://www.mommyconnections.ca/saskatoon/category/mommy-connections-news/

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/