18. First love
I always think if it has taken this long to write a post there is probably a reason. Here it is... after a while, I don't want to talk about my first love. I want to talk about my last love. I'm not one of those lucky people who met the guy I'm going to be with from the start. I was lucky enough to have love in my life.
So first love, hey? Rider Strong (of Boy Meets World), Luke Perry (of Beverly Hills 90210) -even though he was WAY too old for me.
I didn't meet my 'real' life true love until I graduated high school, and to this day I'm confused about who it is.
I travelled in a group called Katimavik out of high school, and dated a guy in the group. M was different than I was. He was a rule breaker instead of a rule follower (although I was slowly learning it is good to be both). He was from Montreal, so I knew from the start that we wouldn't last. He my first... my first real boyfriend, my first 'lover'. Was he my first love? Maybe. I'm not sure that he ever had my entire heart, or he mine because we weren't meant to last. We tried after the program was over, but it was never going to go anywhere. In fact, if not for Facebook, we would have lost touch and stayed lost. We did lose touch, but connected again a few years ago through FB. So, I guess he was the first man (boy) I fancied myself in love with him, but in all reality, it was probably a bit more infatuation and a bit of lust. I know a lot of people my age who confuse lust and love, so I make no apologies for not knowing what it was when I was 18 years old. However, I'm going to stick with him being my first love because that's what I thought he was back then. I'm sure it ended in a bit of heart break, but to be perfectly honest, I can't remember it. The heartache that is, I do remember how it ended (a few times).
No long lasting, not the right kind of love, but a first love. More real than Rider Strong and Luke Perry. I have loved three others since M -including my current.
He still hangs in my closet.
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