For my Anthony

December 18th, 2016

I'll be working on a whole other post later with an update on writing and Nanowrimo. For now I'm going to focus on one thing. A letter to my baby.

I was looking at my "On This Day" on Facebook. Two years ago yesterday, I shared a letter for my future baby. I didn't know we were going to have Anthony. We hadn't even decided to try yet. It's right here: For My Possible Baby to Be. That's what made me think of writing this post.

Anthony is seven months today, and I couldn't be happier with life with him. It actually surprises me that I haven't written a letter to him yet. I have written them in his baby books, but not a letter to the new little love of my life. 

That's what I'm going to do today.

Happy Seven Months to my Anthony. 

My Dear Anthony,

You are seven months today. You've been in our world for seven months, but you were in our lives, growing inside me for nine months before that.

You roll in all directions and wiggle to get places. You sit up - until you fall. You love your Jolly Jumper. 

You JUST got your first tooth this week, and we couldn't be more proud. I'm guessing you didn't love the experience, and it was tough watching you in pain. We survived it though with the help with many teething toys.

Something else you just started doing today is crying when we take something away from you. It's new, and I guess you'll learn that you don't need everything. Hopefully. Or you'll keep crying.

You also love to eat. I'm making most of your food. We are breast feeding, and you also love pureed foods and oatmeal. 

You've also just completed your first beginner swimming lessons. You're already a fish, and you love the water. (Some day you'll actually swim.)

You and I were lucky enough to bond for those nine months before you were born. I didn't realise how important that is. I didn't know how bonded we'd be, or how we would continue to bond, and that our love would continue to grow daily.

I loved you from the instant I found out about you. I loved you more the instant I saw you and the instant your daddy put you in my shaky arms. I have continued to fall more and more in love with you since we brought you home.

I spent most of the first month worried and scared that I was doing something wrong. I worried about decisions we made, I worried about not getting enough food to you while breastfeeding. I worried when you were sick. I worried a lot.

Slowly, I stopped worrying so much, and I started to have fun with you. I sang to you (badly), I danced with you (badly), I laughed and smiled at you. I made you laugh. 

I used to hate mornings. Getting out of bed was a chore. I wasn't ever ready to face the day, and I was never ready to go to work.

I love them now. I love waking up to you talking. I love going into your nursery and seeing you smile at me. You make my morning great. 

To be clear, coffee also helps, but the smile you give me is something I look forward to every day.

So to end this love letter to my first born, I love everything about you. I'm so lucky that things worked out, and you came into my life. 

Time is going too fast, and I can't believe it's already been seven months. I want time to slow down, but I also can't wait to see what happens next.

Love you kiddo.

Love, 
Momma (Come on... you can say it!)

PS: It occurs to me that some day this letter may embarrass you.

I'm okay with that. 

And to end this, here are some relatively recent pictures of the two of us.

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Cravings

November 15, 2016


Day 23

30 Days of Me:

Something You Crave A Lot:

Lately?

Coffee Coffee Coffee

Short and sweet tonight. I'm tired. I'm going to go try to do some Nanowrimo writing now.

Have a good night.

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Being Different

November 14, 2016


Day 22

30 Days of Me:
What Makes You Different from Everyone Else:

I have no idea. I think at times I can stand out from the crowd, and frankly, since the day I realised trying to follow the crowd is boring, and doesn't help, I've never wanted to be like others.

That being said, I don't think anybody is the same. Everybody has differences. Looks, character, attitude... nobody is the same, and thank god for that.

I am not afraid to be my own person. I'm not afraid to be different. At the same time, I don't go out of my way to be completely different, but I don't waste my time trying to be like everybody else.

What makes me unique? My laugh, my humour, the gap between my teeth, my love for onesies, my love for my family and friends, my writing, my stubbornness, my selfishness, my impatience, my eyes, my insecurities, my sensitivity. 

Every one of these things somebody else has, but put them all together, and it makes me my own person.

Just like everybody else, but completely different. 

I'm a little strange and full of gratitude. Life is good being different.

I hope I raise a child who chooses to be as different, and doesn't worry about following the crowd.

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Comfort

November 13, 2016



Day 21

30 Days of Me:

A Picture of Something That Makes You Happy:

Right now, the thing/person that makes me most happy is A. He's the sweetest little baby, and he gives me the very best smiles. These pictures were taken tonight. I think he's teething, and he's not very happy, so we snuggled and danced until he went to sleep. He's had a rough night, and for that matter, my puppy also seems to be having a rough night. It makes me happy that I'm able to comfort them as much as I can, and I can only hope they'll be happier tomorrow. (Although it's easier to figure out what Anthony needs sometimes.) I also take as much comfort in Anthony hugs as he does mine.

Either way, those three pictures represent my day. They represent my happiness. Loving and laughing with my handsome little man.

Short one today - I'm going to do some writing tonight.

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Not Giving Up!

November 12, 2016

I'm pretty sure I'm five days behind, so I'm going to try to catch up tonight. After that, I'll get back to Nanowrimo. I've got a tiny bit more than half the month left to get my writing butt in gear. I'm going to try my hardest.

Why am I not doing so well?

During the day it's because being a mother is pretty time consuming:

I've got this little writer in training taking up most of my attention, and when he isn't, I'm playing with a big puppy.

Little A goes to bed about 8. Which means I basically have the whole night to write and blog. However, some days I'm trying to clean my kitchen, finish washing clothes, put away clothes, and so on.

Other days, I just want some me time that includes doing nothing but binge watching Netflix (or Shomi) and drinking my one glass of wine a day.

I know writing will make me feel good, and it will make me feel like I am accomplishing my goals, but sometimes it's way too easy to just be a couch potato after spending all day being A's person.

So, long story short, even though I have slacked too much, I am not going to give up. I'll keep writing and I'll keep blogging.

And now back to the blog:


Day Fifteen to Day 20

30 Days of Me:

Put Your I-pod on shuffle. First ten songs:

First let me explain, I've lost my actual I-pod. It's someplace in my house, but I had stopped updating it a while ago. It was FULL of music though. This is my Google music from my phone. I rarely put music on it. Mostly, I have music from concerts I'm going to. Others are free downloads (I always go for the free downloads, it's a great way to find new songs.) Others are just music I wanted to hear in the moment.

1. Blank Space by Taylor Swift 
2. Right Through You by Alanis Morissette
3. Budapest by George Ezra
4. John Cougar, John Deere, John 3:16 bu Keith Urban
5. Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under by Shania Twain
6. Not a Bad Thing by Justin Timberlake
7. Bring Down the House by Dean Brody
8. Ain't It Fun by Paramore
9. Karma Police by Radiohead
10. I'm Getting Stoned by Eric Church

Another picture of yourself:

Most pictures of me involve this guy. He's the light in my life lately. This was a walk and lunch outside in November... which isn't normal in Saskatchewan. 

Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why:

Somebody mean so I can try to make them nice for a day.

Plans/dreams/goals you have:

I don't have a lot. 

To be a published writer. (I'm already a writer.)

To be the best person I can be.

To be the best mom I can be.

I prefer the word goals to dreams. Goals will happen, dreams should be goals.

Nicknames you have; why you have them:

I don't really have any nicknames now.

About a million years ago in 1998, when I was in Katimavik, my friends called me Eerine (like the letter E-rine) and Arn.

Eerine because they thought it would be a good name for a rapper which was funny to them because I couldn't sing, dance, or rap.

Arn is a longer story. It's close to Erin. We were in Newfoundland, which at times has it's own language. A local was telling us about fishing. They're very often too busy fishing for conversations. One will yell to the other "Arn?" Meaning any fish.

The response will vary: "N'arn" meaning none. Or "Lots"... obvious meaning.

I may not have this exactly right. And obviously, my being called Arn has nothing to do with fishing, it was basically just because of the similarities in sound. One person still calls me that from the group.

These are two of my Katimavik pals at Cape Spear in Newfoundland.

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future:

C. This must be meant for a younger age.

I will be with C in the future. We may or may not end up married though. Whether we do or not though, we're good. We don't need to be married to be happy.

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Loves of my life

November 7, 2016

Nanowrimo isn't coming as easily as I had hoped. I wanted to prove to myself that I could do this. Have a baby and write. I guess I'm still working on it.

Day Fourteen

30 Days of Me:

A Picture of You and Your Family:

This is my family. My partner and my baby. We aren't married, but we don't need to be. It took me a while to realise that. We have a house, a dog, and a baby, and I'm so damn content and grateful for my life. 

My family makes me happy. All the time.

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Catch up

November 6, 2016

I'm a day behind, and very behind on Nanowrimo. But I'll catch up on both. This one is easier, but it'll take a bit longer to catch up on the 50,000 words. I will do it, but I underestimated the fact that I have to do everything else at the same time.

Day Twelve and Thirteen

30 Days of Me:

How you found out about Blogger and why you made one.

I found out about it because it's part of Google, and it's the one I liked best.

I've blogged more than one time for more than one reason. 

The first time was as a travel blog. 

The second time was because I wanted to continue writing, and was hoping for more adventures.

The third time I started was to help me deal with loss, and get my writing out there. 

I wanted to have a writing blog to talk specifically about writing. As I've discussed, that's changed a little.

I also had gratitude blog for a while. However, it felt a little tedious at times.

Now I have a jar full of a good thought a day. (I'm ALWAYS behind on that one.)

A Letter to Someone who has hurt you lately:

(Honestly, I have been pretty lucky and not been hurt a lot. What I'm about to write is basically a joke, but based on an actual event.)

Dear Drogo,

You growled at me the other day when I tried to hug you. You were grumpy and mean, and I was pretty upset at the way you treated me. Luckily I AM THE BOSS, so you were not allowed to continue to be mean. 

I forgive you, dude, but try not to growl at me again. It hurts my feelings.

I know you're still young, and we are trying so hard to make you the best dog ever, but we both have a lot of work.

I have a lot of 'dog-mom guilt' lately because Anthony takes up a lot of attention, but that's no reason to use your mean words (growl) at me.

I still love you, and am so happy you're here to crack me up on a daily basis.

Erin

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Thank you for being a friend

Day Eleven

30 Days of Me:

Another Picture of you and your friends:


I'm not sure why it says another. I don't remember posting one previously.

Let me be clear that I have friends, but right now, these guys are my best friends. I spend the most time with my baby and my dog. And C is my best friend. We wouldn't still be together if he wasn't.

I have other friends, in fact, I have other people in my life that are my best friends, but this is who I'm closest to.

Also, although I have posted pictures of people in my life in the past, I try not to post pictures of friends. My family gets posted more than they should, but I'm so proud and happy they're mine. 

Anyway, that's one picture of friends. I have more awesome people, and they are very dear to me, and I'm so damn grateful for them, but I'm not posting a picture.

Happy Friday! Back to Nanowrimo for me.

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Music

Day Ten

30 Days of Me:

Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, mad, bored, hyped

I don't really want to answer this one. I don't always have specific songs for specific things. I like music. I like how one song can take you back in time, and remind you of something,someone, or someplace. Unfortunately, I'm too lazy to name them. 

We're lucky to have music in our lives. If I want a background to writing, it is usually going to be 90s music.

I was planning to have 90s music in the background while I was giving birth to Anthony. It didn't work out. He listened to quite a bit of country music while he was in the womb. 

Now both Drogo and Anthony hear a lot of kid music. Or my terrible singing. I make up songs about them.

I don't listen to as much music as I'd like. I need to change that. I've always got the radio on in the car. I listen to all of the stations. 

Sorry I didn't answer that better. It's been a long day. I'm visiting my parents right now, and haven't had a chance to do any Nanowrimo writing yet. I'll get to it next.

My view this morning.

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/

Pride

November 2, 2016 

Day Nine

30 Days of Me:

Something you're proud of in the past few days.

That's easy. 

I'm proud of making my boy smile. His smile and laughter make me ridiculously proud. 

Of course, I'm also proud of my nine days of consistent blogging, and my two days of Nanowrimo. I'm at 3100 words. I'm really proud of myself for not using being busy with a baby as an excuse. I'm doing it. I'm writing. I'm a writer. 

E 

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."

Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

Letter Ideas: http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2015/03/challenge-completed.html

Also, check out my ongoing book blog:  Proud Bookworm at: http://bookserinread.blogspot.ca/ 

Blogs I used to write on but not being updated:

http://lifeisgoodandhereisproof.blogspot.ca/

and

http://erinlm.blogspot.ca/