Monday 28 September 2015


September 28th, 2015

It's becoming more and more obvious that I'm not getting every single prompt done this month. Which is fine. It means I get to pick and choose. This one was originally meant for September 24th. (Not too far behind.)

Are you the same person you were last year? Five years ago? Ten years ago? Tell us how you have (or haven’t) changed.

Ten Years Ago:

I am not at all the same person I was ten years ago. Not even a little bit. I'm so thankful for that.

That's not to say I was a bad person, I was just going through my 'only want to have fun' phase. This phase continued for a few years.

Ten years ago, I had just gotten out of a five year relationship (my longest relationship for now), and I was living in South Korea teaching English. The relationship, unfortunately, ended over the phone because I thought we could make a go of it during the year I was gone. It turned out, I didn't want to. To this day, the break up was one of the scariest things I've ever had to do.

That year was all about doing new and scary things. The picture above was after I fell off a skateboard and dislocated my elbow.

I tried new things, I partied a lot, and I laughed a lot.

I'm so glad I got it out then. If I were to try to live the same lifestyle now, I would fail miserably. 

I had a lot of fun. I wrote very little. I had a blog while I was gone, but I didn't spend any time on it at all. 

It was a year that made me realise I could do more than I ever thought I could. I was more focused on living life, than on being the best I could be. There's nothing wrong with that, but it is the biggest difference between 2005 and 2015. I wasn't ready to settle down, so I didn't. (For a few years after that.) 

Sometimes I miss 25 year old me, but I'm perfectly okay with looking back and smiling at my experiences. I still want to travel as much as I can, and I hope that never changes. I just don't need the constant 'on the go' feelings, and the need to find more exciting adventures. It's all an adventure. 

Five Years Ago:

Once again, five years ago, I was different than I was five years prior, and much different than I am now. 

I was unhappy. I was in a place in my life that wasn't what I wanted it to be. I was working at a job I didn't love.

However, I had just turned 30, and I was happy to have celebrated with all of my loved ones. 

Things weren't ideal, but there were good things. 

I sometimes look back at that time, and feel like I was living under a black cloud. I had lost a lot the year before, and I was still dealing with things I forgot to deal with. 

I drank too much, and I ate too much. I didn't do a lot of healthy things. 

I didn't know how to deal with grief, and I didn't know how to be grateful for what I had. 

I think that I had no idea what I was going to do with my life. I was feeling a little bit like I was at a dead end in the town I was in. 

I didn't know it yet, but I wanted to be home. I wanted to be closer to family. I've never felt like that before in my life. I had always been perfectly content with packing up and moving away. This time, I was ready to come home. 

I was very much still dealing with the miscarriage. Mostly because I had no idea how I should deal with it. It had happened months ago, but I still wasn't giving myself room to heal. 

I think from that year, things kind of just stayed the same, or got a little worse until I finally moved. I hadn't realised how depressed I was until I moved. Or when I did know, I thought I fought it off better than I did. 

One Year Ago:

I haven't changed a lot in a year, but I notice slight changes. I think I feel more like an adult, and I feel more content with my life. 

Last year, I was doing the #100happydays. I had one thing a day about the great thing that happened. I also had my gratitude blog, which was basically the same thing. I made it 100 days, and I kept up the gratitude blog. I'm no longer doing it now, but honestly, I think it's partially because I learned so much from it. I learned how to be happy with my life no matter where I am, or what I'm doing. I don't have to force happiness. 

On this day, last year, I was grateful to be wearing onesies. That's all I needed.

I still love those PJs. 


I mean, it's been a BIG year for me. We bought a house, got a new puppy family member, grew a garden, and we can't forget, I caught a REALLY big fish.

I'm sure I'll keep on changing in the years to come. In ten years, maybe I'll be doing the exact same blog post.

This year, it's just me being happy and content with my life. I'm happy with where I am, the person I'm with, and I look forward to the future. I look forward to our possible family, and our possible marriage- or simply a life full of adventures with just the two of us. 

I know I'll keep changing, and I'm glad. I love who I am now, just as I loved who I was ten years ago. Looking back won't change, but if I'm the exact same person in 10 years, then I'm doing something wrong. 

Update: I figured it out. The biggest change between this year and last year (and all the others) is that I finally feel like an adult! Haha. Took me 35 years, but I'm ready to admit it!

Happy Monday.  

As always,

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.

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September Prompts:

Year long Prompts

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