Wednesday, 28 January 2015

Mental Illness

January 28, 2015

Today is the #BellLetsTalk day. For every tweet, text, or Facebook with the hashtag, five cents goes towards Mental Health Initiatives. I've been sharing the hashtag on Twitter and Facebook today.

It seems like a good time for me to post about Mental Illness. I just looked back on my posts, and I can't really find anything I'd done in the past about it, but I feel like I should have.

This is the closest I could find.

I'll start by saying, I have been lucky. I've seen people deal with mental health problems. I've seen it in people I know, and frankly, you can see it just walking downtown. It's around, but it's really not talked about a lot.

There are so many kinds of mental illness. I'm going to focus on the one I've had to deal with.

I have personally dealt with depression. It's something that runs in the family, and something I've had. I was lucky. I've never been on medication because of it, and I have been able to get myself out of it. My heart was able to lighten, and it and my head felt less heavy. I'm really careful now because I know what it's like to not be able to get out of bed. I work hard to keep myself motivated and happy.

It seems to be restricted now to just panic attacks. I get those - more so when I'm stressed out (like these last few weeks), but I still get out of bed every day.

The depression hit me most when I was in Whitecourt. I didn't even notice it happening until it was too late. I thought I was dealing with things, and it turns out, I wasn't at all. I didn't get out, I didn't socialise, my work suffered, I didn't write, and sometimes I didn't get out of bed. I tried going to talk to somebody, but I didn't feel like she was helping and only went to a couple sessions.

Somehow, I got out. How? I don't know. I got out of bed. I started breathing again. I started doing things for myself.

It was still a big influence in my life. Moving to Saskatoon helped, and finding a professional I could talk to helped. I don't see her anymore, but it helped. This blog helps the most. I don't write in my journal as much because I write it all here. I'm not ashamed of what I've been through, or how my mind works. If people can relate at all, then I'm glad.

Depression is a constant battle, and I can't even imagine how hard it would be to not be able to deal with it, to not have help, and not have a support system available.

I think it needs to be talked about. All of it, from the little things to the big things. I've only dealt with the little things, but so many people, in so many places have to deal with the big issues in Mental health.

This year (and I plan to every year), I donated to the Canadian Mental Health Association.   I donated specifically in support to Writing For Life because I know how writing can change lives, and hopefully make a bad moment better, but there are a lot of programs to support. It will for sure be something I do every year.

As always,

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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