Wednesday, 21 January 2015

My First Rejection

January 21st, 2015

Let me start by saying, this is NOT what I planned to post today. I had every intention to post - just not this.

However, the mail at work came, and changed my whole day. (My whole DAMN day).

I decided months ago to use my work address for publishers because we are renting, and we move a lot. I didn't stop to consider the fact that, for the most part, I'd receive rejection letters at work. At work.

For those of you who don't know me, here is something personal and true about me. I'm pretty sure I've already shared this though. I cry. I cry when I'm sad, I cry when I'm angry, I cry when I'm frustrated, and I cry when I'm scared. 

I've cried at work before, but I don't like doing it. I've cried when I've been frustrated about my job, and I've cried for personal reasons, usually involving loss of a loved one. I've found the tears to be embarrassing. I think I should be stronger than that.

This was different. I opened up the envelope knowing it was a rejection. I thought I was prepared. I've been saying for MONTHS that I'm ready for a no. Obviously, I wanted a yes, but I was prepared for a no. 

I thought I was. 

The letter itself was a promising letter. I mean, it wasn't a straight up, 'we aren't interested'. It was more of a 'fix your novel we can tell you're a newbie, and then get back to us' kind of letter.

The last sentence alone should have made me happy. It means try again. Better yet, it means try them again.

That did not stop me from feeling sad and disappointed. I stayed quiet about it, only emailing or texting 'my people' (the usual first to knows), to let them know. I sniffled a lot, and wiped the odd tear from my face, but tried to ignore it.

And then my eyes cried in a co-worker's (and friend's) office because I don't have my own office to cry in. Once I started, I was a bit worried that they weren't going to stop crying. But they did. It helped (and it helped to say it out loud). I've cried, and now I can move on to the next step.

I am going to take the advice of the publishing company, and look for somebody to help or mentor me, and help me get my novel ready to publish. 

The rejection stinks. However, I'm not going to let it keep me down. I'm going to get published. (Just not today.)

As to why I'm telling the Internet (and readers) about my rejection and almost failure? I get over things quicker when I talk about them. I could feel bad about this situation for a week and then write about it, but I'd rather just admit to my non defeat right now. It's a writing blog about my writing life. Rejection is apparently a part of that. 

It's not a failure, I know that. But the first few seconds did feel a little bit like it was. It's only a failure if I stop writing and stop trying. It's only being defeated if I don't continue to try. 

I will continue trying to make my novel better, and trying to get it into the publishing world. I feel like one of those inspirational posters, but I guess that's what I need right now.

The letter was encouraging. At no point in it did they say 'you're writing is crap, give up now.'

So, I'll keep reminding myself of that.

Also - Coffee and treats help:

Update: Here was what I originally thought would happen:

As always,

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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  1. In the spirit of trying to be positive...

    They got back to you!! Was it the first place you sent it? Or the place you sent a prestamped envelope to?

    From the little portion of the letter we can see, it looks like they gave at least a little bit of constructive criticism, which at least gives you a bit of direction. I think a mentor sounds like a great idea! Do you have anyone in mind?

    Keep your chin up! You have already learned so much from this letter that it'll just be a little speed bump in your past when you do get published.

    And thank you for posting about such a tough day! I was glad to hear you at least got a response, but still felt a bit disappointed for you. Big hugs!!

    1. Thanks. This was the stamped envelope I sent. That's how I knew it was a rejection before I opened it. I think they only return it when it's a no. They did say the story idea was good, but it needed some help. I can handle that. Thanks for the comment. :)