I don't know if I've ever done a'throwback Thursday' on my Writing Blog. If I have, I don't remember. I've done it on my gratitude blog more than once because I am grateful for many things that have happened in the past.
There's a little story about something I'm feeling bad about lately, but first, my throwback Thursday choice to explain it. The picture above was the very first picture ever taken of Clint and I. It was in Saskatoon during a Country Cabaret, September of 2012. It was a selfie, taken a couple of beers in. It's a nice one of my eyes and his hat, and a GREAT one of him looking incredibly sexy. We had been dating since May of 2012, but the first time I got us in the picture together was my birthday weekend. (Or as I affectionately called it, 'I'm still 31 weekend').
This is our last photo from July 1, 2014.
I know we've only been together for 2 plus years, and that's not as long as so many others, but I'm glad I didn't meet him until now. It doesn't matter that we've ONLY been together for two years because we WILL be together for much longer than that. I'm going to guess we will be together until I'm old and grey. And this isn't just something I've made up because I'm crazy in love and thinking like a teenager. Realistically, I am not thinking like a teenager. Clint and I have both spoken about where we are, and where we want to be, and we are still incredibly happy with each other. Some may say it's the 'honeymoon stage', but I don't think so. We make each other laugh, we make each other smile, we bug each other, we sometimes annoy the other, but in the end we love each other completely.
Why am I talking about this?
Because lately, I've turned into an annoying ANNOYING girl, and I have been 'bugging' him about a ring or a wedding. I've never really cared about weddings. I think I should just be happy with what I've got. I'm still a girl; I still dream about the pretty ring, and sharing our wedding day with loved ones, but that doesn't mean I need it.
We've spoken more than once about how we will do it, IF we do it. I've been getting obsessive. I have looked at dresses online, and spoken about what will happen on this 'imaginary' day. All without a ring.
But here is the only truth you need to know, if I NEVER get a ring, and NEVER get my wedding, I won't let it get me down because I'll still be with him. We are officially living together, and we know that we'll continue to stay together. Other than saying vows, we are already living them. Living them happily, for that matter. We already have a marriage.
So why am I trying to go one step further? I've tried SO hard these past couple of years to appreciate what I have, and love my life as it is. To be perfectly honest, it hasn't been very hard to do. Things are good, I'm happy in love, I'm writing, I'm working, and I do appreciate the little things along with the big things. So why the hell am I spending so much time lately dreaming about a future I already have and nagging Clint to dream with me.
So while a ring and a wedding would be lovely, I really don't need to care. I'm stating that here and now. I'm not going to worry about it until it happens. If it happens. I'm focusing to much on my future when I should be loving NOW, and it's almost ridiculous. This isn't me, and I'm sorry that Clint (and my friends) have had to see this side of me lately.
I am just happy to know Clint and I are solid, good, and in love. So Throwback Thursday... sure, the past has been great to think back to with Clint. The present is even better. The future will be great, but I don't have to worry about that. I don't have to be so impatient to move forward from what I have right now.
That's it. Happy Thursday.
Thanks for reading.
And as always:
Most of my ideas are coming from http://erinisawriter.blogspot.ca/2014/03/march-24th-looking-forward.html It's leads to another blog where I found the ideas. My April onward details start with that post.
©ErinLeahMcCrea All photos I share on my blogs are my own, please Ask Me For Permission Before Using Them.