Tuesday 30 January 2018

Writing Mom Life

Jan 30, 2018

I'm hoping to write a quick post tonight. To be honest, I kind of want to be reading right now. My sister lent me a book that I can't put down. (But I have to put it down and parent.)

I've had a few bad days in the past two weeks. I've had good ones as well, but it's harder to move on from the bad days.

It's been tough to get back into the solo parenting routine. I haven't loved it, and I've been getting frustrated too easily. One day in particular, I felt like I was failing. I know I wasn't, but I just wanted to be doing so much better.

Side note: I've downloaded a audio book about peaceful parenting. Hopefully to help me take a breath when I need it. I'll write more about it when I finish it. 

I think I've just been a bit down lately. I hadn't been getting out of the house as much as I'd like because I just didn't have the energy. I've been feeling a little depressed. That's hard for me to admit because I don't want to fight that battle, or admit that I may need to fight it. It's also hard for me to admit because I think I should be happy simply because of my son. I feel guilty. I find this post fitting though because tomorrow is the Bell Let's Talk Day, and admitting I'm having a hard time does not make me weak.

However, it's something I have to deal with. I need to get back into my world of gratitude because that helps me the most. I'm lucky that the little things in life can help me. I know it's not like this for many.

So instead of focusing on the bad weeks, I'm going to focus on the great things.

  • First of all, I'm so grateful for being able to call Clint and talk to him through a video call. I love that Anthony gets to see his face as well as hear his voice. I love watching Anthony kiss his daddy through the phone screen. This would be so much harder on all of us if we didn't have that option.
  • I'm grateful for my sister helping me. She came over the other night, and after I fed us supper, she hung out with Anthony so I could take some time and have a bath. Basically, get clean without a baby with me. It felt silly, asking her to come over to have a bath. (To be clear, I do get clean, I just have time for quick showers though, and usually with a toddler.) However, I need to get better at asking for help. It's something else that's important for my mental health. Anthony LOVES his Auntie Jodi, so anytime he gets to spend with her is his best day ever. 
  • I'm grateful for friends who will stick up for me, and stick by me when I need it. 
  • I'm grateful for crafts and toddler activities because my toddler needs A LOT to keep him busy. 
  • I'm grateful that even with my mood not where I want it to be, and with parenting alone, I've still been able to write everyday. Even if it's just a journal entry.
  • I'm also grateful for my journal that I just pulled back out and have been writing in as much as I can. I've been writing in it for years and years, and this year, hopefully I'll finish it and be able to start a new one.
  • I am grateful for my mom. She came to help me out because I had a Writing Workshop planned for Saturday. However, she came on Friday and stayed until Monday, and it was absolutely wonderful to have some help. It was nice to let her take care of bedtimes for me, and to just take a small break. I miss her like crazy already, but already feel like the weekend of help has done so much. Bedtime is off and on. It hasn't been easy. Being able to step back, helped. Now I can get back to Solo Super Mom because of my own Super Mom. (And Super Grandma). 
  • I'm grateful that I was able to go to a novel writing workshop with Alice Kuipers on Saturday. I learned a lot. I was inspired. I am motivated. 
  • I'm grateful that my son (and my dog) make me laugh every single day. Hilarious duo. 
  • I'm grateful I have people who are reading my novel for me after the sixth(ish) edit. I'm also grateful for comments that keep me inspired and motivated to get it published. 
That's it. I just needed to be happy about my writing mom life. And I am. Sometimes, you just need a reminder.

Until next time.

“Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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