Sunday 17 September 2017

100 Days of Writing

Sept 17, 2017

This is my 100th day in a row of writing. I did it. I know for a fact, that I haven't formed a habit (even though that was my plan) so the only thing I've formed is the resolve to write. I know if I don't write, I'll let myself down. I still have to hold myself accountable. Even if I've already done 100 days in a row, I still have so much more to do.

Next up - 200 days.

It was hard to do. I love writing, but I didn't want to do it every night. I spend A LOT of time with Anthony. It takes a lot of energy to be with a 16 month old all day. Some nights, I had to force myself to write. Those were the nights I only did small bits of writing. 

In fact, it's after 10 p.m. right now, and I'm only just starting. 

Awkward thumbs up. Awkward selfie. It's okay. Awkward suits me. 

I had a lot of plans for my 100th day. It was going to be filled with writing. I was going to do this post. I was going to do a prompt and my happy thought (which I'll still be doing), and I was planning to do a whole bunch of editing. That's probably not going to happen now.

My kiddo wouldn't sleep. He had a fun day at a Pumpkin Festival (anybody in the Saskatoon area should definitely check out Black Fox. They've got great festivals.) He had a late nap which meant he was not ready to go to bed when I wanted him to go to bed. 

That's my life. I wouldn't trade it for anything, but it means Erin's Writing Life starts later. I've said this before, but possibly not in this blog. I did not realise how hard it would be to write when Clint was gone. It's a lot harder to get as much writing as I'd like. Part of that is raising a kid that never slows down, and part of it is making myself do more.

I find it interesting that after writing 100 days in a row, I am not as proud as myself as I think I should be. Instead, the only thing that seems to be going through my mind is: "You can do better."

It's not fair that I can't just be happy for my accomplishment, but maybe it's good that I'm holding myself more accountable than ever before. Possibly, if I had been holding myself accountable before this, I'd have a novel published. 

I've never been good at quitting, but I have been good at letting myself do less than I could. If I don't push myself to be the best person and the best writer that I can be, who will? I can't ask that of anybody else. It's up to me. I HAVE to push myself, and I have to keep reminding myself that I can do better.

I wrote every day. Usually it was a happy thought, and a prompt. 

Other days it would be a blog post. Very few days it was a journal entry (that secret book for nobody but me). For the past three weeks, it's been editing my novel. I know this isn't exactly writing, but it's a writing process. It's the MOST important part of my goal. I've started off slowly, but I need to be more consistent in my editing. I need to do five pages a day. No less than that. I started at one, and haven't worked up to five yet. That's actually a little embarrassing. 

I guess, I think all the other writing isn't as important. So even though I'm proud of myself for writing every day, I would be more proud if I was accomplishing more with my novel. I love my novel. I want to make it better. I want to love it more. That's never going to happen if I don't push harder every day. 

These past three weeks, I've given myself the chance to reintroduce myself to the characters I gave life. It's been wonderful. I missed them. I feel terrible that they've been neglected for about three years. 

I let life get in the way of writing at a time when life didn't have to get in the way. If I've learned anything from my 100 Days of Writing, it's that I have to write. Following my dreams means nothing if I'm not writing. It means nothing if I'm not trying. 

If I don't ever reach my dream goals, at least I can say I fought like hell to get my writing out there. 

If I can't say that, I have nothing.

So here's to fighting like hell. I'm going to continue. I'll still be trying to do one post a week. And I'll still be doing everything I did in the past 100 days. But more. And better. 

If nothing else, the 100 days has motivated me. I'd say that's a pretty good reward.

Happy Sunday. Momming and Writing will continue during the week just as it has during the weekend.
This is what we did before writing. Hay and pumpkins. The best day.

Followed by night time writing. Pretty great day.

“Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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