Sunday 22 April 2018

April Writing Update

April 22, 2018

It's not a good writing update. I had big plans for April. I was participating in Camp Nanowrimo, and I had a goal of 50,000 words. I was working on a novel I had started a long time ago. I was editing and making major changes at the same time. I was keeping on track for the first week and a half. I was exactly on target, and it felt pretty great.

And then. I got sick. So damn sick.

I continued to write everyday, but I didn't have the energy for novel writing. After I started to feel better, I still didn't have the energy. I've been trying to write, but I've also been trying to do other things at night. 

So long story short, I'll continue working on the novel because I can't give up on my character, but I don't have the time this month. I've left my poor main character for way too long, and I need to see where life takes her. I won't know until I write. I started writing it after I finished the first novel, and since going over the first so many times, there are definitely some changes to this character's story (she's in the first.) I've learned a lot about her, and I need to do her story justice. I started writing this so long ago that it's a little embarrassing to admit how long I've left her. 

I haven't yet sent the original novel to publishers yet, but it's going to happen soon. I had a couple others reading the novel for me, but I'm not sure that they're going to get back to me. I might have to continue on without them because I really need to start sending it away. I really want it to be published.

The first day I was sick, I basically stayed on the couch while Anthony covered me in toys. Then my mom came to help.

I am currently on day 314 of writing in a row, and I'm incredibly proud of that. Even when I'm not novel writing, I'm doing some sort of other writing. Prompts, journal, and happy thoughts. However, I'm being harder on myself this month because I had really high hopes. Solo motherhood while you're sick is tough. I can't do as much as I want.

And speaking of that, as a solo mom (for now), I'm hard enough on myself. If we take out the writing part of it, and the trying to be a writer while raising a stubborn son, I'm still harder on myself than I should be. It's been a tough month, and I feel guilty when I get frustrated, and I feel bad when I do things that others would call lazy parenting (letting my child watch digger videos on you-tube so I can get things done). I'm not a perfect mom, and even though I know I never will be a perfect mom, (nor do I need to), I'm super hard on myself for any bad moments in my life with my son.

So that plus the guilt for not writing as much as I'd like is enough. I've had enough. I'm going to celebrate the fact that my son is happy and alive. I'm going to celebrate the fact that I have somehow managed to write every day for 314 days. I've done amazing. And I'll continue to do the best I can. Actually, some days it probably won't be the best I can, but I'll keep trying to do the best.

That's it. I have a pile of clothes to put away, so I'm going to do that. It's been a while since I wrote a blog post. It was time.

And a few photos to show my son is sometimes happy even though I'm not perfect. 

And one of me in crazy mom mode. That's the best Super Mom mode. Ignore the mess in the background. I finally cleaned it today.


"Exercise the writing muscle every day, even if it is only a letter, notes, a title list, a character sketch, a journal entry. Writers are like dancers, like athletes. Without that exercise, the muscles seize up.”

― Jane Yolen

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
Ralph Waldo Emerson

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